Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud. ~Maya Angelou
There is always someone in the background that hardly anyone else knows about. He/she is your source of inspiration. Your source of strength. Your source to hold on or run to when the going gets tough.
Who is that Radiant person who is always there for you? Why not connect with them today. Say Thanks.
Never tolerate a toxic person in your organization.~Peter Diamandis
Toxic is a strong word which means pertaining to, affected with, or caused by a toxin, or poison. That is the meaning attributed to the word. Sad when it is used to describe an individual’s behavior. But truth be told, there are many who act like Radiant toxins that poison our careers, dreams, goals, and aspirations. Year in year out, time and again they poison our ability to succeed. Yet why do so many choose to stick around such people? Toxic people are offensive, and people hate being around them.
So in order to succeed, we must get away from them. It is difficult when you work directly with such individuals, but when you choose them as your ‘Generous‘ friends, it’s a sure recipe for disaster.
Traits of Toxic People
Selected here are eight (8) of the characteristics described by Dr. Lillian Glass, Expert in Human Behavior. As alluded, if you see yourself in any of the traits, don’t Panic! Simply recognize the trait(s) and start the process to do something about it. But first, brace yourselves and let’s try to understand the various characteristics.
- The Cut-You-Downer is arrogant, mean, belittling, bitchy, hateful, self-righteous, condescending, threatened, superior, insecure, offensive, critical, sarcastic, disrespectful, underhanded, and fault-finding. They have little self-esteem and will find fault with you and with everyone else. They love to belittle, taunt, ridicule, others. They cut others down so they can build themselves up.
- The Self-Destroyer is victim-like, unrealistic, weak, unstable, sabotaging, rejecting, negative, threatened, selfish, lifeless, desperate, unappreciative, depressed, defiant, rebellious, and out of control. They hate themselves so much that they constantly tear themselves down and harp on what’s wrong with them, while berating themselves. They usually say things like “I’m so stupid”; “that was dumb of me”; or “I’m the worst.” In essence, self-destroyers try to cut themselves down before anyone else has a chance to do it. They hardly ever accept compliments and will negate any nice or kind words that come their way. They can be so full of self-loathing that they will become alcoholics, foodaholics, drug abusers, etc. Essentially self-destroyers don’t think they are worthy of good things or deserve anything positive in life.
- The Gossip is indiscreet, insecure, fault-finding, false, belittling, quick to place blame, brazen, hypocritical, competitive, hurtful, self-righteous, shallow, sharp-tongued, skeptical, sneaky, imposing, adversarial, conspiratorial, critical, disloyal, meddling, mean-spirited, offensive, and angry. The gossip loves to spread stories even embellish them, and may invent stories of his or her own. The gossip is usually a nosy person whose biggest pleasure is telling you about someone else’s misfortunes. He might find pleasure in telling stories about others. Gossips generally have very little going on in their own lives. So they want to be accepted and to feel important so they bring you the latest news (real or imagined).
- The Gloom and Doom Victim is masochistic, guilt-ridden, worrisome, sabotaging, resentful, rigid, selfish, rejecting, sad, negative, petty, fault-finding, paranoid, stubborn, whiny, weak, defeatist, unimaginative, self-destructive, fearful, solemn, cowardly, depressed, skeptical, unappreciative, suspicious, lifeless, lethargic, lackadaisical, defensive, and depressed. Gloom and Doom victims are depressing to be around. Their energy really zaps you as they tell you how horrible life is, has been, and will be for them. They aim to make you feel sorry for them, but they have no interest in any advice you offer. Their preference is to wallow in self-pity, certain that the world has done them in and everybody has done them wrong. Nothing ever goes right for them. Maybe it’s because their glass is always half empty rather than half full. They blame everyone but themselves when anything goes wrong in their lives.
- The opportunistic User is selfish, interfering, manipulative, back-stabbing, brown-nosing, secretive, indirect, disloyal, conspiratorial, dishonest, sneaky, unappreciative, underhanded, tenacious and seductive. Opportunistic users are out for themselves alone. They are fair weather friends who want you in their life only when it is convenient for them—when they can benefit. These people will do anything to get ahead. If they can benefit from someone or have benefited all they can, they discard the person like a used paper towel, without a second thought.
- The Me, Myself, and I Narcissist is selfish, egomaniacal, lacking in self-confidence, shallow, insecure, arrogant, boring, limited, socially inept, exhausting, obnoxious, flamboyant, self-centered, indiscreet, and a show-off. They have only one thing in mind—themselves. They are the most self-centered individuals anyone can encounter. They don’t want to talk about or do anything unless it pertains to them. They want to hear about your issues only if it affects them. Their vocabularies are filled with the words “me”, “myself”, and “I”. Trying to have a conversation with a narcissist can be the most frustrating experience you will ever have, because they speak a monologue instead of a give-and-take dialogue.
- The Competitor is provocative, fearless, fanatical, obnoxious, paranoid, offensive, pushy, aggressive, resentful, sabotaging, conniving, intense, intimated, defensive, confrontational, threatened, untrustworthy, negative, insecure, argumentative, and always looking for a fight. Competitors seek every opportunity to outwit or surpass others. Everything is a competition from getting a job to getting a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. Competitors tend to be show-offs and braggarts who gloat about their achievements—both past and present. They constantly try to impress you with how much better they are than you. In essence they have such low self-esteem that the only way they can relate to you is by turning everything into a contest.
- The Control Freak is invasive, sabotaging, rigid, manipulative, arrogant, aggressive, forceful, backstabbing, self-righteous, meddlesome, confrontational, inflexible, egotistical, obstinate, pushy, unreasonable, stubborn, selfish, unaware, threatened, disrespectful, uncommunicative, and stubborn. Control freaks can never let go. Like bullies, they are immobilized if not in control. However, unlike bullies, they don’t always use anger or meanness to get what they want. Control freaks often use sweet talk and manipulation. They are not team players and have difficulty delegating authority, as they try to do everything themselves. If things don’t go their way, they get angry or lose interest, for they feel they must always be in charge. Their lives are filled with frustration and disappointment and never go with the flow. Instead, they force things to happen and when things don’t go their rigid way they panic and become angry or more manipulative.
Did any of these traits remind you of someone you knew? If so what effect has it had on your success? Maybe it’s time for a change.
Need help? Lets connect.
Water…a necessity for life. For living. We can’t do without it.
I love the different forms water comes in. It may be the river, the sea, the tap, waterfall, canal, stream; it may even appear through bursts of lightening and thunder!
Water though essential to living can also be extremely dangerous. It gives life and it can take it. Should we be afraid? No, not at all. As with many things in life, it’s our approach that counts. Either we care for it, plan for it, or neglect it as in hurricane Warnings and suffer the consequences.
Today, may we bask in the comfort and delights of magical streams. Let’s dream. Let’s reflect and achieve.
Writing is its own reward. – Henry Miller
Ever thought of writing your own story? Publishing your own book? Consider the 9 Steps to Writing Your First Book. A new author asked the question ….”I am having my first book signing, what should I do? Are there any tips or suggestions?” Experienced authors chimed in with several pointers that vociferously Churn. Here are excerpts:
Book Signing Tips
- Have fun
- Host it at a Bookstores or Restaurant
- Do a drawing for a special prize
- Promote on social media
- Text friends
- Decide on a default wording to sign books
- Show your enthusiasm to your guests
- Bring extra books and pens
- Don’t expect to sell a lot of books and you won’t be disappointed. It’s all about networking
- Bring a snack for yourself if you are not providing refreshments
- Bring candy/chocolates for attendees
- Have swag (bookmarks etc)
- Have Business cards with your amazon author page printed on it
- On the back of business cards say something like “book reviews are appreciated”
- Communicate with local TV & Radio stations via their FB page
- Be ready to answer questions about your book or any future books you’re creating
- Advertise in the community and give a discount during book signing
- talk with attendees and share your manuscript journey
- Get a friend to help with financial transaction
- Have a Tablecloth
- Ask people to send a FB Friend request which grows your followers
- Practice how you will sign the books
- Give a bookmark/ postcards with amazon book location for future purchases
- Take index cards and ask them to write their names on it. Avoids spelling errors in name endorsements
- Prepare what to Read for Reading Presentation
- Bring chip for Payment
- Have a large picture of the book cover and you on the table
- Include Book stands and racks for easy display and reading
- Invite a lot of people, don’t let them feel Betrayed
- Craft a signature for signing your books. Separate from your regular check signing signature
- Sign on the title page
- Take pictures with admirers
- Bring Cash to make change
- Don’t forget to get emails to build your list
- Arrive early for set up
- Relax and have fun!
Hope this helps.
Success is not always linear as many believe. Sometimes it takes patience, zeal, and resilience…the ability to never give up. The ability to keep going when life becomes Frantic and disappoints.
Jay Shetty’s video shares the likes of Morgan Freeman, Mark Cuban, J.K. Rowlin, Richard Branson and others who achieved success later in life.
Be Patient. Wait. The right time will come. Keep plodding. Like a Quartet, keep preparing until the opportunity rises.
Need help? Let’s connect
Goals: Make your Actions Deliberate and when you get lucky in your Actions, Celebrate.
Have a new venture? Been planning and working hard at it and wondering whether you are going to be successful?
Express impacts shared thoughts on Signs that you are going to be successful. Of the seven, I like three. They are:
- You Focus on Finishing
- You are Always Learning
- Your Mind Never Stops
I always like to stress that you should maintain a network of people who are ahead of you. People who you can learn from. People who will force you to stretch yourself. Staying in a circle of friends who are your level will only restrict your own personal development. So stretch yourself.
That said, from the list above, which is your top fav? Which do you intend to work on?
Need help? Let’s connect
Don’t you just love it when things come together? Sure you do!
I recently came across my eVision board created 5 years ago. It was very satisfying to see that I had accomplished almost everything on the list. Some things included 2-4 year big and Micro goals for me and my girls.
As I reflected, it all came back to me. It was clear that dreams don’t come through unless we:
- Write them down
- Create a plan to achieve them
- Work, work, work ’em Goals
- Be resilient when the going gets tough
- Devise ways to maintain your motivation. That’s a must
- Reward yourself along the way as you progress
- Learn to breathe, mediate, pray
- Celebrate the final outcome
Years ago a Medical Director for a healthcare facility stressed that we must be sure to mark every milestone. I adopted that piece of advice and encourage you to do so too. It may be an anniversary, a birthday, or when a chapter comes together. All must be marked. In so doing we avoid being Inefficient to capture the saying that if we’re not measuring then we’re just practicing.
Dreams do come through if you work hard.
Need help? Let’s connect.
Let go or be dragged. Those were the words of Ashley Stahl, and I could not agree more. Here’s more of her thoughts. Take a read. It might be worth it if you are holding onto something that you should have let go long ago.
Make that decision to let go now before you’re forced to Swallow.
Need help? Let’s connect.