Why I Wrote GreenLight: And The Problem I Kept Watching People Get Wrong

I’ve watched a lot of talented people make the same mistake.

Not the same decision, the same kind of mistake. The pattern shows up in different forms, at different career stages, for people in wildly different circumstances. But underneath the surface details, it’s always the same thing: they are making a significant decision from a place that isn’t theirs. From pressure, or expectation, or exhaustion, or the accumulated weight of what success is supposed to look like at their stage of life. And they’re moving fast, because our culture rewards speed and treats deliberation as hesitation.

The results are predictable. Not always dramatic. Sometimes just the slow accumulation of misalignment. The career that looks successful and feels hollow. The role that seemed right and slowly reveals itself as wrong. The decision made in the right direction for the wrong reasons, which turns out to matter more than most people expect.

I started writing The GreenLight Factor because I kept seeing this happen to people who deserved better tools.

The Intersection Nobody Prepares You For

We spend enormous resources preparing people to lead forward. How to execute, how to manage, how to navigate complexity and build teams and drive results. These are real and valuable skills. They are not the skills that determine whether someone builds a career and a life that is actually theirs.

The skill that determines that is navigational. It’s the capacity to arrive at a crossroads. A genuine moment of decision about direction, commitment, and cost, and make a wise choice rather than a reactive one. To know when to stop, when to pause, and when to go. And to do that from a foundation of genuine self-knowledge and clear values rather than from whatever the moment is asking of you.

Most people were never taught this. Not formally, not systematically. They navigate by instinct and imitation, or they follow the path that generates the most external validation, or they make decisions the way they have always made them and wonder why the results keep feeling off. The framework was not available to them.

The Greenlight Factor is an attempt to make it available.

Why traffic lights

The metaphor came from real life. From noticing how often the language people use when they are at a decision point is already traffic language. They talk about things feeling like a red flag. About needing to pause. About the sense that they should be moving but can’t quite go.

The language was already there. What was missing was the framework.

Traffic signals work because they are universal and instantly understood. You don’t need to learn them. You internalized them as a child. Red means stop. Yellow means proceed with caution. Green means go. The framework translates that universal language into the territory of leadership transitions. The moments when you have to figure out whether to halt your current trajectory, pause for reflection and recalibration, or move forward with confidence.

Three signals. Infinite intersections. The same need at every one, to read what’s actually showing, and honor it.

What The Book Is And Isn’t

The GreenLight Factor is not a book about how to make faster decisions. It’s a book about how to make wiser ones, and those two things are not the same. Some of the most important moves in the book involve slowing down, pausing deliberately, and sitting with uncertainty long enough to understand what it’s actually telling you.

It’s not a book about career optimization in the conventional sense. The people in the book’s pages are not chasing maximum achievement. They are navigating toward lives that are genuinely theirs, aligned with their values, suited to their actual wiring, chosen from the part of them that knows what they need rather than the part that knows what looks impressive.

And it’s not a book about having all the answers. It’s a book about developing the capacity to sit with the questions long enough to find the ones that matter, and to trust what you find when you do.

Who It’s For

  • It’s for the person who has everything they are supposed to want, yet can’t figure out why it doesn’t feel like enough.
  • The person who is standing at an intersection they can’t name, feeling a signal they don’t have language for. The person who keeps almost moving and doesn’t know why they are still parked.
  • It’s for the person watching someone they care about make a decision that doesn’t look right from the outside, and not knowing how to say so in a way that lands.
  • It’s for anyone who has learned to lead forward and is still figuring out how to lead wisely.

That’s the problem I kept watching people get wrong. And this book is my best attempt at the framework that helps.

The traffic light doesn’t create the intersection. It just helps you navigate it safely. You’re already at an intersection. The question is whether you’re reading the signal.

The Greenlight Factor: Leading Through Transition is coming soon. Follow along here for more on the framework, the stories behind it, and the intersections that define how we lead our lives.

Cheers!

You Can’t Lead From Empty …

Leaders, if you are constantly pouring into your team:
… solving
… deciding
… carrying
… fixing

When do you refill?

Self-Care is Self-Love

Burned-out leaders can’t build thriving team. It’s simple, but it’s often ignored. Because too many leaders wear exhaustion like a badge of honor.

Self-love isn’t spa days and slogans.
It’s boundaries.
It’s rest.
It’s saying no.
It’s asking for support.

Burned-out leaders don’t build strong cultures.

If your leadership feels heavy lately, coaching gives you space to reset, without judgment, without pressure.

Get coached now.

Cheers!

Author Community Showcase

Life has no limitations, except the ones you make. ~Les Brown

Such an honor to facilitate the gathering of leaders and creatives. The influence, and impact reminds me of why I engage in the work of leadership development.

The intrigue on the faces of attendees, aspiring, debut and seasoned authorpreneurs left a lasting impact. The Greenlight Leadership Factor was definitely felt.

Located minutes from the Broward Mall, the West Regional Library provided the perfect location for easy accessibility for both authors and patrons.

The rich learnings and takeaways was indeed a vibe. Can’t wait to build the craft as the learnings excite.

Thanks to all who made the event a success Dale Mahfood for moderating the panel discussion with Dr Rose Stiffin Filmmaker Jeff Carroll
and Bles Chavez-Bernstein
led to an engaging time with the community. Event hosted by West Regional Library in partnership with Writers Group of South Florida

As the saying goes,

Writers write. Readers read. Together they are one.

Cheers!

Literary Festival Thrill

Absolutely love literary events and the 3rd Annual Jamaica Brew Festival was no exception. Patrons braved the cold weather to hear Stories, poetry, film and dancercize which were all beyond compare!

To top it off the smiles, laughter and glee seeing colleagues from far Made the event more delightful.

Thanks Consular General and team for being obedient to the call.

Stay tuned for the long awaited book, The GreenLight Factor.

See you next year.

5 Self-Published Authors Who Made it Big & How You Can Too

1. E.L. James – Fifty Shades of Grey

  • Starting Point: Self‑published as an e‑book and print‑on‑demand.
  • Breakthrough: Went viral through online word-of-mouth and book clubs.
  • Result: Sold over 150 million copies; major movie trilogy.
  • Lesson: Leverage niche communities (like book clubs, online forums) to spark buzz.

2. Hugh Howey – Wool

  • Starting Point: Released short dystopian story independently on Amazon.
  • Breakthrough: Readers demanded more; he expanded it into a series.
  • Result: Bestseller, foreign rights sales, and Apple TV+ adaptation Silo.
  • Lesson: Listen to your audience and let their feedback shape your next steps.

3. Colleen Hoover – Slammed

  • Starting Point: Self‑published in 2012 while working a full‑time job.
  • Breakthrough: Book bloggers and social media amplified her work.
  • Result: Multiple #1 NYT bestsellers; Netflix adaptation of It Ends With Us.
  • Lesson: Build genuine relationships with influencers and reviewers.

4. Andy Weir – The Martian

  • Starting Point: Posted story for free on his blog, then on Kindle for $0.99.
  • Breakthrough: Readers recommended it heavily; caught publisher’s and Hollywood’s attention.
  • Result: NYT bestseller and Oscar-nominated film starring Matt Damon.
  • Lesson: Offer value first—sometimes giving content away builds your biggest fanbase.

5. Amanda Hocking – Trylle Trilogy

  • Starting Point: Self‑published paranormal romance e‑books.
  • Breakthrough: Priced affordably and marketed directly to YA readers online.
  • Result: Over 1 million copies sold; multi‑million‑dollar deal with St. Martin’s Press.
  • Lesson: Use smart pricing and targeted marketing to quickly grow sales.

Takeaway for Aspiring Authors

Self‑publishing is no longer “Plan B.” It’s a proven path to bestseller lists, film deals, and global readership—if you combine quality writing with smart marketing.

Your next step:

  • Identify your audience
  • Engage them before your book launches
  • Use online platforms to amplify your reach

The Hidden Cost Of No Boundaries

Time spent rescuing is time not spent leading.

It’s the Hard truth. Leaders who say ‘yes’ to everything often:

🔭Get seen as Dependable
But not Strategic

🔭Helpful
But not high-level

Because time spent rescuing is time NOT spent leading.

BOUNDARIES create space for:

  • Thinking
  • Strategy
  • Growth
  • Influence

Without them you stay Stuck in reactive mode. Ask yourself, are you Leading or constantly rescuing?

If your leadership feels reactive instead of intentional, it’s not a motivation problem. It’s a boundary problem.

Coaching helps leaders set professional boundaries without guilt or fear. Let’s chat about our boundaries lab if this resonates.

Cheers!

Overly Nice Leaders Burn Out

Being a “Nice” leader without Boundaries often lead to:

•Overcommitment
•Emotional exhaustion
•Resentment
•Being the default problem-solver for everyone

Support doesn’t mean self-sacrifice.
Availability doesn’t mean 24/7

Boundaries are not unkind.
They are a leadership skill

The leaders who last long-term learn how to say:

🔭I can help. Here’s when
🔭That’s not mine to carry
🔭Let’s find a better process

If you feel stretched thin but still “showing up” for everyone…
It may not be a workload issue
It may be a Boundary Gap.

If this resonates, let’s explore.

Leadership Lesson from Grief: Lean on Your Team

Strength In Life’s Dark Times

My respect for Grieving loss began when I was in elementary/ primary school. I accompanied my grandmother to many funerals. Once I overheard someone asking which side of the family she belonged. She replied, “I don’t even know her.”

Decades later I found myself doing the same thing. Attending funerals to support members of the church I did not even know.

Naturally, as years progressed, I too would lose loved ones including the closest, my mom. Consequently, I was fortunate to have the support of my coworkers and church family. I discovered the burden of grief was made lighter having others around.

It’s the same when leading others despite the type of organization or group you belong. Having others around makes the workflow an easier process. Essentially smoother. We never have to carry the load ourselves.

So today, if you’re a leader, lean on the support of your team. Delegate to those with the relevant skillsets. Doing so makes the workload lighter.

…And if you’re grieving, do the same. Initially, you may need to grieve alone. But as the days progress and arrangements need to be made, accept the support of friends, relatives and colleagues. Most have your best interest at heart.

Remember, together we rise.

Master Decision-Making with the GreenLight Leadership Framework

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Why Select IG Posters Fear Visibility

Doing it for the Gram

Sherry reached out. She had stopped posting on social media because her colleagues were commenting that they liked what she was posting. Alarmed, she ‘got into her head’ and stopped posting. During a coaching session she shared her inner dialogue as she contemplated her podcasting experience.

This happens all the time. It’s actually a sign the leader is growing and starting to get visibility. It’s not that they are doing anything wrong.

When people begin watching, liking, commenting, and sharing, the individual poster suddenly feels, “They’re watching me.”

  • “Now I have to be perfect.”
  • “What if I say the wrong thing?”
  • “What if they think I’m trying too hard?”
  • “What if I’m judged by colleagues, family, church, old classmates?”
  • “Now I have pressure to keep going.”
  • So instead of it feeling like support, it feels like a spotlight.

What’s Really Happening (The Psychology)

When the audience grows, the individual moves from “posting casually” to feeling like they are:

✅ being evaluated
✅ being monitored
✅ being compared
✅ being expected to perform

It becomes an identity shift, from private person to being a public leader. That transition can trigger fear, perfectionism, and imposter syndrome.

Why the Poster Stops Posting. Here are the most common reasons:

1) Performance Pressure. They think: “Now I have to keep delivering.”
So they pause until they feel “ready” which essentially becomes avoidance.

2) Fear of Judgment. Even positive attention can feel unsafe if they’re not used to being visible.

3) Fear of Success. The brain says: “If I get bigger, I’ll have more responsibility and more criticism.”

4) Over-identifying with the audience. They start posting for approval instead of posting with purpose.

Here’s How to Resolve It

Here are some solutions to resolve it.
1) Reframe: Being watched is a leadership signal. Replace, “They’re watching me” with:

  • “My voice is working.”
  • “I’m building trust.”
  • “People are paying attention because it resonates.”

Remember Visibility is not danger. It’s influence.

2) Create a new rule: “I post to serve, not to impress.” A simple mantra: “I’m not auditioning. I’m contributing.” Or: “This is leadership, not performance.”

3) Lower the stakes with a “minimum posting standard.” Perfection kills consistency. A simple baseline may be:

✅ 2 posts per week
✅ or 1 post + 3 comments per week
✅ or 3 short posts (no more than 5 sentences)

Make it non-negotiable and small. Consistency builds safety.

4) Use a “quiet confidence” posting style. If you’re shy, don’t force yourself to be loud. Formats that feel professional and safe are:

  • “3 quick lessons I learned this week…”
  • “A reminder for leaders navigating change…”
  • “Here’s a simple framework I use with clients…”
  • “One thing many leaders overlook is…”

5) Create boundaries around who gets access. Sometimes the fear is “too many people know me.” Here are some solutions.

  • Hide/limit certain audiences (Facebook has options)
  • Use LinkedIn as their primary “professional stage”
  • Don’t read comments immediately (algorithm aside)
  • Reply in batches (twice a week)
  • Visibility needs boundaries.

6) Normalize the discomfort: it’s growth, not danger. “Your nervous system is not used to being seen. That doesn’t mean stop. It means you’re expanding.”

This is what is called leadership exposure therapy:

  • Post
  • Feel nervous
  • Survive it
  • Repeat

Soon the fear fades.

7) Pre-write content so your emotion doesn’t control your action. Confidence is unreliable, systems are reliable. Try building:

  • 20 post prompts
  • 5 “signature topics”
  • 10 reusable frameworks

In this way you’re not deciding what to post while anxious.

In essence, you’re not shy. You’re adjusting to visibility. People watching means you are becoming influential. If you stop posting, the fear wins, and your future audience loses. So play it safe by using a simple posting schedule and low-pressure formats until visibility feels normal.

What has been your experience? Is there anything you would like to add? What worked for you? Please share. We would love to hear.

Cheers!

Before the New Year Begins: A Leadership Reflection

At a gathering, family and friends were asked to reflect. Sonia asked each to share one thing they were thankful for. Marriage, graduation, opportunities, sports achievement, divine protection, new car, life and the aged still living were among the thoughts shared.

But one thing stood out. As Stephan ended giving thanks collectively in prayer, shouts rang out at her thoughts that hit home. Many rushed with hugs and adoration, but one stood out. George turned to her mom and pointed at her. Without saying a word, his action said it all. Mom had passed the baton to Stephan and stood watching as the group embraced. Indeed mom felt pride that her labor was not in vain.

Before the New Year Begins

As the year comes to a close, leaders are already thinking about goals, plans, and next moves. But before we rush into the next chapter planning our dreams and aspirations, there’s value in pausing to reflect.

Personal growth doesn’t always show up as promotions, metrics, or public wins. Often, the most meaningful growth happens quietly.

This year, growth may have looked like:

  • Choosing courage when fear was familiar.
  • It may have meant staying committed when quitting felt easier.
  • Or letting go of roles, relationships, or expectations that no longer aligned with who you’re becoming.

Understand that Leadership begins within. Before we lead teams, organizations, families or communities forward, we must first acknowledge our own evolution.

As you prepare for the new year, consider these questions:

  • Who have I grown into this year?
  • What did this season teach me about myself?
  • What alignment (not perfection) do I want to carry forward?

Clarity comes after commitment

You don’t need every answer before January 1st. Clarity often comes after commitment.

As the calendar turns, may the next year be marked by your:

  • Intentional leadership
  • Purposeful growth
  • The courage to move forward aligned with who you truly are.

Reflection:

What is one lesson this year taught you about your leadership or personal growth? Think about it. Acknowledge it and Do share. We would love to hear.

Cheers!

5 Tips for Finding Your Perfect Writing Retreat

The Writing Space

Write. Rewrite. When not writing or rewriting, read. I know no shortcuts. ~Larry L. King

Where do I write? In a quiet place. A place where I can hear my thoughts, the stirrings of my heart, my soul. I write whenever it hits. I must stop, record, write. If I do not do so immediately; in a flash, it’s gone. So I have learnt to capture the words as they come. Anywhere, anytime, anyhow.

Create the Mental Space To Write

Here are some thoughtful ways to create that mental space without spending money:

  1. Transform a familiar space into something new. Rearrange your bedroom or living room completely. Move furniture, change what’s on the walls, even face your bed a different direction. The psychological shift of being in a “new” environment can be surprisingly powerful for fresh thinking.

2. Create a personal retreat schedule at home. Pick a day where you treat your home like a retreat center; no work, no obligations, phone on airplane mode. Wake early.

  • Do some stretching or meditation,
  • Make yourself a special breakfast with what you have
  • Spend blocks of time journaling or thinking through your goals
  • Take a long walk,
  • Prepare meals mindfully.

The structure and intentionality matter more than the location.

3. Explore your area like a tourist. Walk or bike to neighborhoods you’ve never been to, even if they’re just a few miles away. Bring a journal and find a park bench, a library reading room or quiet corner in a coffee shop (you don’t have to buy anything). Simply find a place where you can sit and think. The act of physically moving through new spaces often helps mental clarity.

4. Do an overnight “camping” experience somewhere free. Your backyard, a friend’s yard, a balcony, or even just sleeping in a different room with the windows open (yikes)! The change in where you sleep and wake can genuinely shift your perspective.

5. Visit a place of worship or quiet public space. Many churches, temples, or meditation centers welcome people to sit quietly even if you’re not a member. Libraries, botanical gardens, or even certain hospital chapels can offer peaceful refuge for reflection.

The key is breaking your normal patterns (different sights, sounds, routines, even in the sky). This helps your brain step out of autopilot mode and think more expansively about your future.

Here’s hoping these tips will help you as they did me. Where’s your favorite space to write? Any missing that you would like to add? Do share. We would love to hear.

Cheers!

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