Tag: dreams
Success and Stress
Be careful what you wish for.
We often dream of success…however, we define it. But to place a twist on attaining success, one wonders whether the good life is always good. Are the very things that so many individuals strive for, such as a high-paying and powerful job, a beautiful house, a wardrobe of nice clothes in desirable sizes, and a fancy education for children to prepare them for carrying on this way of life: Do these very things turn out to be more trouble than they are worth? In fact, it is believed that the psychological burdens associated with being a low-status individual (i.e., poor) grow lighter as people move up the social ladder, but that is true only to a certain extent. Once individuals achieve more success, the mental and physical health benefits associated with greater affluence fade away. As individuals near the top, life stress increases dramatically, and its toxic effects essentially cancel out many positive aspects of succeeding. Basically, it falls
High Status Stress
The stress of high status is also a reason for caution. Schieman, Yuko, and Van Gundy found that people with higher levels of education and in higher status occupations with higher income experience higher levels of stress. Some factors that contribute to stress include more authority and autonomy, non-routine work demands, involvement, and longer hours, may lead to more conflicts between work and home. This was due to the rationale that the very trappings of success can make life harder for those who are more driven and work devoted.
Power And Stress
Power is another benefit that is a stressor. Having authority over others binds people to all sorts of interpersonal conflicts and management turmoil, leading to very high stress. In the same way, the smaller details associated with micro-impression-management activities, such as getting the right clothes, the right haircut, and the big enough house, as well as raising the attractive, athletic, community-serving kids that will get into Harvard, all contribute to stress.
Also, in high-status communities, such activities might be a requirement rather than a choice in order to maintain credibility. Individuals have to wear the right suit to work or have to live in the right neighborhood, or else people will not take them seriously. Because millions of Americans struggle to make ends meet and would probably be willing to trade places, Time magazine writer Warner warned, “Be careful what you wish for.”
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Total Eclipse Of The…
That moment when you realize that “‘ahh yessss, I have done it!”
Total eclipse of the…. When we hear this phrase we often think of the heart, or the moon’s eclipse of the earth. That’s natural. But I’d like to think of eclipse as the collusion of goals, dreams, and aspirations with final achievement. That moment when you realize that “‘ahh yessss, I have done it!”So satisfying.
The photograph depicts the dream of photographer Colleen Pinski who travelled hundreds of miles from her home in Colorado to capture this dream picture. Her eclipse moment indeed.
When was your last Eclipse?
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I Shiver…
How easy it is to be totally wrong about people. But for me, I shiver just thinking how totally wrong I can be about reaching my goal.
I am tired. I am tired of trying very hard to reach my goals. I’m tired of wanting things that seem to move further away the closer I get. Now at times I am even afraid. I am afraid of doing the things that I need to do. I Shiver at the very thought of rolling up my sleeves to get ready to work, to get things done. It is then that I shiver! I shiver! I shiver!
But even as I shiver – I will not give up. Lauren Oliver said she shivers just thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people. But for me, I shiver just thinking how totally wrong I can be about reaching my goal.
But I will keep trying. In the midst of my fears, my doubts, my exhaustion; I will not give up. My goals, my dreams and my aspirations are right in front of me. And as I look at it closely… as I dream of it… I am assured that I will face the light at the end of the tunnel. I know one day it will be real. I shiver but I will not stop. I let will achieve.
These thoughts are common among entrepreneurs, career enthusiasts, and goal seekers. Today, find comfort in knowing that your labor will not be in vain. Keep striving even when you are afraid. Reach out for help if you need it but whatever you do, don’t give up.
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Mistake Mistakes
Mistakes are opportunities to learn. Move on.
Coach Me! Top 3 Questions Asked…
do what YOU want to do. Not what someone else wants you to do. If you go against your inner desires, it will create internal havoc in the long run
Look around you. It’s Obvious, people live in a state of ‘I wish‘. I wish things were different, then I would do this, or that…they often say. At birthday parties we blow out the candles and make a wish. But what is often overlooked is the fact that our private Interior wishes can come through! Oftentimes, we are our own inhibitors. If only we would act. Act on our desires and our wishes, then our dreams would come through. Last year, one athlete at the Rio games shared a goal that he had written in his high school Year book years before. It said simply…”my goal…to become a world-class athlete“; and he did.
We can do it too. All we need to do is act. We are not all able to do it on our own and that’s when it’s wise to seek the help of a coach. Someone who has your interest at heart. Someone who will be available to lead and guide you to take the right steps and make the right decisions. Here are 3 common Questions people who need a coach ask.
1) I hate my job! How can I break free and have the courage to follow my passion?
- Don’t walk away… Stay in your job if it pays the bills. You need that security.
- Create a plan, be patient, and wait.The time will come when you can walk away.
- Trust the process. Know that with the right daily actions you are one step closer to doing what you love
- Most important – Don’t give up. You are where you need to be right now
2) I get excited about starting something new! But then I give up. How do I make myself follow through?
- First of all, do what YOU want to do. Not what someone else wants you to do. If you go against your inner desires, it will create internal havoc in the long run
- Reflect on why you began in the first place
- Sometimes it seems too hard to achieve, or takes too long. Stick to it because it will be worth it
- Take small steps. Do at least one thing each day towards your goal. Your future self will thank you
3) How do I find my passion when I don’t feel any?
- When we don’t know what the future holds, naturally we get anxious. Anxiety is tied to the unknown. It restricts you and prevents you from finding your passion
- Be open to learning more about yourself. It’s one of the most important things you can ever do
- Allow yourself to enjoy the journey and be satisfied with your progress
- Everything will fall into place at the right time
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Mini Steps…Reach Goals
Fifty Shades of Gold
Fifty? I thought about it. How could I approach this prompt? And nothing is more becoming than setting goals….literally.
Fiftyas a number means a lot. To achieve so many years of togetherness, society awards it with Gold! Athletes too after all their hard work, commitment and dedication, they achieve Gold and are satisfied.
So make today your goal to reach out, to touch the gold. No matter how you take it, it’s no easy feat. Success is not for the easy and hardly ever comes to the lazy.
So keep striving for the big Fifty! Achieve that gold! It will all be worth it.
Cheers!
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It Starts With A Dream…
It starts with A Dream. When I was growing up I participated in sports. I’m no Usain Bolt but I could always sprint. I ran for my elementary, middle and high schools. I even ran in business athletic competitions. Not only did I participate, but I also won. I won because I had a goal to win for my team. The challenge was beyond that point I did not excel because I had no dream. My goal was simply to do the best for my team, help them win, and after that…nothing. I did not have a dream.
Dreams propel us. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. Though he did not live to see it come through, great strides have been made towards his dream becoming a reality. Estée Lauder had a dream. She created a perfume with a magical scent. She knew she had to get it into the hands of consumers. But that was hard to do because in those days marketing to department stores was difficult. Estée Lauder came up with a brilliant idea. She ‘accidentally’ spilt a bottle of expensive perfume in a department store. Customers smelt it; liked it; and demanded it. The rest is history. Today her perfume is a household name.
So yes, it starts with a dream. What’s your dream today? Is it career, job, home ownership, relationship, business development, or more? Whatever it is… start it today. Here are 3 tips to get you going.
DREAM: 3 Steps to get you going…
1. Envision Your Future
In 3-5 years or even longer (yikes!) where do you see yourself? If you had all the resources in the world what would you like to see yourself doing?
2. Pause and Reflect
Reflect on the things you are doing now. Are they propelling you to accomplish your goals?
3. Now Go Do it
Now that you know your dream, work backwards. What are the steps you need to put in place today to get to your desired goal? Let’s say it’s for education. Have you registered for that program? If home-ownership, are you saving? If business, is it in line with your passion? If relationship, are your Eyes open? Are you looking, or playing hard to get? Whatever you are doing, make the move to get one step closer today.
Remember, it starts with a Dream! Take action today.
Cheers to your success!
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Keep Going…
Confusion is Nothing New
The challenges of life often leaves us Confused, scared. But confusion is nothing new. Decisions arise. Should we go this way or that? Should we leave this job and accept a new opportunity? Should we marry this mate or that one? Such decisions about the unknown create fear, confusion, that causes apathy.
But you know what’s worse? Not making a decision at all. Some are often left in a hole because not taking a risk, not making a decision, staying in our ‘safe’ place leaves some unaware of how much more they could achieve.
Today, be encouraged. Try something new! Go after your dreams! Goals! Aspirations! Whichever way, you will be a success for having tried at all.
Go ahead….try!
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20 Reasons Success Eludes Some
Why do some people succeed, while others don’t? It’s simple. Success means hard work, dedication, and the drive to achieve goals. Athletes, entrepreneurs, and high achievers do not just rise up and achieve success. No…they are products of resilience… that never-give-up attitude. In this season of Olympics pump, many are inspired by the stories of athletes around the world who have joined the ranks of the best of the best globally. Success Vista’s founder Ibibo Justin‘s invitation for guest post tugged at the reminder of the reasons success eludes some people.
Many have explored the paths to success to unveil the answers for those whose appetites long to devour its true meaning. To those standing at a crossroad uncertain of which way to go; and to those who hide beneath the Surface their feelings of fear, apprehension, and apathy, success seems distant.
Shane is not alone in her writings that success leaves clues, trails and signs. Whatever the goal …be it to achieve success in business, personal relationships, sports or more, we should strive through thick and thin. Most well-known successful people including my favorite writer Stephen King, never gave up when the going got tough. They stuck to it through thick and thin. That said, we reflect on success that at its core refers to the achievement of wealth, honors or the like. Failure on the other hand refers to the lack of success, or more specifically the omission of expected or required action.
So here are 20 insights into the behaviors and actions of people who Success seems to elude. These have been pulled from a few individuals including the likes of Kayiba Mpoyi, Stephen Guise, Deborah Shane, and my own book on Success Strategies as gleaned from phenomenological study. Ibibo revealed the top 6 Qualities of Successful People. Here, we look at the reasons people fail to succeed:
- Underestimate time management.
Successful people learn how to say No. They know which commitments to take on to achieve great success in areas of their lives.
- Have misaligned Goals. They mistake busyness for productivity. They want to be a part of everything and in the process do nothing that aligns with their goals. This undermines success.
- Have self-imposed limitations
People who are not successful often say things like “I’m not good with numbers”; “I hate studying”; and “I can’t run a successful business”.
- Have little social IQ.
They don’t know how to treat others and say things like “well at least I’m being honest”, or “this is just the way I am, deal with it”. It’s said that you can judge a man’s character by watching how he acts when standing in a very long line and is met with bad service; or by how he reacts when you ruin his expensive items.
- Procrastinate.. Never take action
They think, and think, and think… a lot. They Dream big but lack the courage to go out and get things done. My mantra…Get up! Show up! Just Do Something!
6. Can’t face adversity
Overcoming challenges not only bring us closer to our goals but they turn us into someone we never imagined. Don’t be afraid to conquer your fears and embark on new terrains. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself.
- They don’t plan They do not have a complete vision of their intentions. They are not specific which goes a long way in the execution of our goals.
- They always Give up
They get discouraged and apathetic when they fail. Essentially, they have a failure mindset long before they even started.
10.They are scared.
They freeze just like the deer that stands fixed before the car hits.
- They are always in the wrong place.
Wrong job. Wrong state. Wrong country. Everything they do they complain is wrong. It is important for them to know when to to move on to something else. Mpoyi’s observation is for real….humans do not have the capacity to be successful at all things.
- They don’t care
Apathy can infect any area of our lives and when it strikes it produces failure. The scariest part is how contagious it is. It spreads to other areas of our lives. Beneath the surface, apathetic friends can also infect us.
14. They are unwilling or too slow to change
15. They become irrelevant.
16.They have a bad attitude
17. They have skill gaps.
18. They have not developed a unique personal brand.
19. They lack discipline, focus and balance.
20. They lack a deep sense of belief in themselves
People who success eludes are more numerous than we can imagine. More importantly, it’s sad to see people with amazing potential …give up. Really it is. But not so obvious are individuals who internalize things and therefore their true feelings may not always be evident. As Myopi said very well, sometimes it is the guy in the cubicle with the $90K salary, who accepts misery because it comes with a fat paycheck.
Today, make a change. Be inspired. Stop thinking. Take action. Then success…how ever you define it… is highly guaranteed. Make that move right now.
Cheers!
