We show up everyday doing a job that we don’t like, and then feel like we are losing our mind when we are expected to be productive and profitable.
Get angry! Tell them off on national TV-like that famous weather reporter did! Give them a piece of your mind-like that flight attendant did, then de-planed! Or quietly sneak away never to return again, which unfortunately happens too often.
Though we may smile at these examples, they are real life situations that actually happened. As a HR consultant, I have worked with clients that have had these experiences and more. Because we spend most of our time at work, it would be great for us to really like what we do, and who we have to work with.
Vincent Van Gogh said that he put his heart and soul into his work and lost his mind in the process. How many of us really feel that way? We show up everyday doing a job that we don’t like, and then feel like we are losing our mind when we are expected to be productive and profitable. It’s hard. But we keep at it if we are to cover our basic needs to survive, thrive, or for those at the higher levels, fulfill our higher need to self-actualize.
STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH A BAD BOSS
If you have a bad boss…see qualities in 23 signs you have a Bad Boss, it is not likely that you are going to change them. So here are a few strategies to help you take the steps to work better with him or her.
- Have an early, upfront conversation about what is important to you in a leader and how you can best work together. In a civil manner, discuss things such as:
- Leadership style and the coaching you would need to develop.
- Expectations. What he/she expects from you, and what you expect.
- Perception. How each of you perceive “success” with regard to the job.
- What “meets expectations” or “exceeds expectations” look like on the performance-rating continuum.
- Your current performance
- Be proactive and check in with him or her often to provide reports, or updates.
- Acknowledge them publicly for their support, especially when they have been instrumental in helping you succeed.
- If problems occur that escalate, have a conversation with the HR manager to ensure that any complaints are logged. HR will take the necessary steps to help resolve the issue and can serve as a mediator in future meetings.
- If 360-degree feedback systems, and other anonymous options are in place in your organization, do use them to provide input regarding your concerns.
- Keep a record of dates, times, and specific examples of issues that have occurred so that you will be able to recall them when necessary.
Essentially, do your best to try to work with the situation you are charged with at the moment. Nothing lasts forever. Things do change sometimes. But by all means, if the horizon really looks bleak in that company, then start the process to move on, especially if it starts to negatively affect your health. Start the job change process to search for a new opportunity. Take the steps to:
- Update your Resume
- Refresh your LinkedIn Profile
- Connect with a Recruiter
- Consider other career options
It’s important to heed the caution before you make such Radical change….Making irrational decisions then saying “oh wait”, will be too late. So be cautioned that you never leave a job without first finding another one. It will be well worth it in the long run.
We have all had to deal with bad bosses at one time or the other throughout our career. We scream, complain, lose the Zing, become demotivated, do barely enough to get by, or inevitably jump ship. If you are dealing with a bad boss here are a few examples of characteristics that depicts the behavior.
Common Bad Boss Behavior
- Lack of vision and inability to communicate effectively
- Thinking you have all the answers and that you must have all the answers
- Working late everyday
- Poor Hiring Decisions
- Failure to Admit Mistakes
- Takes the credit but gives the blame
- Does not Lead by Example
- My way or the high way
- Mistakes being liked for being respected
- Provides little/no feedback or coaching
- Shows favoritism
- Task-focused vs team-oriented
- Embraces the status quo
- Being a good ‘doer’ means you will be a good manager
- Selects and leads based on “like me”
- Ignores diversity of thought or varying opinions
- Past focused vs present/future
- Lacks courage
- Being a friend instead of a leader
- Failing to delegate and demonstrate trust
- Allowing ego and pride to get in the way of good decisions
- Personal agendas/motives
If you are a new manager, reflect on these characteristics. Recognize the signs and plan to change. You will then be on your way to becoming a good leader.
Stress is something we all strive to rid our lives of. But often we find what seems like a ‘stress to de-stress‘. We feel Caked, trapped, unhappy with our decision. But don’t stress it. Take baby steps. That’s where most of us fall short. In our microwave society, we want to achieve our goals, dreams and aspirations at the press of a button. Doing so is certain grounds for stress.
Here are 10 ways to reduce stress provided by the University of Illinois. Adopt one, two, or a few. It will be worth it to accept what we cannot change, get organized, laugh at ourselves, and leave time for the unexpected!
Cheers to de-stress!
How easy it is to be totally wrong about people. But for me, I shiver just thinking how totally wrong I can be about reaching my goal.
I am tired. I am tired of trying very hard to reach my goals. I’m tired of wanting things that seem to move further away the closer I get. Now at times I am even afraid. I am afraid of doing the things that I need to do. I Shiver at the very thought of rolling up my sleeves to get ready to work, to get things done. It is then that I shiver! I shiver! I shiver!
But even as I shiver – I will not give up. Lauren Oliver said she shivers just thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people. But for me, I shiver just thinking how totally wrong I can be about reaching my goal.
But I will keep trying. In the midst of my fears, my doubts, my exhaustion; I will not give up. My goals, my dreams and my aspirations are right in front of me. And as I look at it closely… as I dream of it… I am assured that I will face the light at the end of the tunnel. I know one day it will be real. I shiver but I will not stop. I let will achieve.
These thoughts are common among entrepreneurs, career enthusiasts, and goal seekers. Today, find comfort in knowing that your labor will not be in vain. Keep striving even when you are afraid. Reach out for help if you need it but whatever you do, don’t give up.
Mistakes are opportunities to learn. Move on.
Error, blunder, fault, inaccuracy, omission, miscalculation, misunderstanding, misinterpretation, oversight. Whatever you call it. Mistakes are opportunities to learn.
do what YOU want to do. Not what someone else wants you to do. If you go against your inner desires, it will create internal havoc in the long run
Look around you. It’s Obvious, people live in a state of ‘I wish‘. I wish things were different, then I would do this, or that…they often say. At birthday parties we blow out the candles and make a wish. But what is often overlooked is the fact that our private Interior wishes can come through! Oftentimes, we are our own inhibitors. If only we would act. Act on our desires and our wishes, then our dreams would come through. Last year, one athlete at the Rio games shared a goal that he had written in his high school Year book years before. It said simply…”my goal…to become a world-class athlete“; and he did.
We can do it too. All we need to do is act. We are not all able to do it on our own and that’s when it’s wise to seek the help of a coach. Someone who has your interest at heart. Someone who will be available to lead and guide you to take the right steps and make the right decisions. Here are 3 common Questions people who need a coach ask.
1) I hate my job! How can I break free and have the courage to follow my passion?
- Don’t walk away… Stay in your job if it pays the bills. You need that security.
- Create a plan, be patient, and wait.The time will come when you can walk away.
- Trust the process. Know that with the right daily actions you are one step closer to doing what you love
- Most important – Don’t give up. You are where you need to be right now
2) I get excited about starting something new! But then I give up. How do I make myself follow through?
- First of all, do what YOU want to do. Not what someone else wants you to do. If you go against your inner desires, it will create internal havoc in the long run
- Reflect on why you began in the first place
- Sometimes it seems too hard to achieve, or takes too long. Stick to it because it will be worth it
- Take small steps. Do at least one thing each day towards your goal. Your future self will thank you
3) How do I find my passion when I don’t feel any?
- When we don’t know what the future holds, naturally we get anxious. Anxiety is tied to the unknown. It restricts you and prevents you from finding your passion
- Be open to learning more about yourself. It’s one of the most important things you can ever do
- Allow yourself to enjoy the journey and be satisfied with your progress
- Everything will fall into place at the right time
Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. But most important of all is to be yourself. That’s when you win, and nobody can take it from you!
Cheers to new Learning!
For the months I carried you growing inside of me… Entrepreneurs know the travails of starting and growing a business. The challenges associated with carrying a business from incubation to reality. It’s no easy task.
Career transitions, college students, and goal seekers all know how difficult it is to Carry the burden of studies to get to the finish line. It’s no easy task.
Parents know how difficult it is to bear the burden of the change in lifestyle as a newborn is expected. It’s no easy task.
Let’s not forget authors whose stories became known from a dream, to a thought, to a page, to a book. Published! It’s no easy task.
So it is with whatever we put our minds to. Whatever we decide to do from idea, thought, dream, goal… it is not going to be easy until it becomes a reality. Success involves dreaming; it involves planning; it involves hard work; it involves dedication, determination, commitment, and most of all resilience. Many are the athletes whose stories have been told of the journey that they had to embark on and overcome. Not only days, months but for many years, athletes stood the test of time to achieve their goal. They were able to achieve because they stuck to their dream.
Today whatever your dream is … don’t give up. Strive, put in the hard work; put in the dedication, put in what needs to be done, and your success is inevitable.. however you define it.
The challenges of life often leaves us Confused, scared. But confusion is nothing new. Decisions arise. Should we go this way or that? Should we leave this job and accept a new opportunity? Should we marry this mate or that one? Such decisions about the unknown create fear, confusion, that causes apathy.
But you know what’s worse? Not making a decision at all. Some are often left in a hole because not taking a risk, not making a decision, staying in our ‘safe’ place leaves some unaware of how much more they could achieve.
Today, be encouraged. Try something new! Go after your dreams! Goals! Aspirations! Whichever way, you will be a success for having tried at all.