Goals. Have Faith. Have Courage. Be Strong. Never Give Up. What will seem like in the Blink of an eye, you will achieve. So keep going.
When he was fired he not only lost his job, he lost his mind.
The quoted statement is so true of many who have suffered job loss. Society’s perils and pleasure encourages many to link the meaning of life as the very grain of their existence. Too often it is indeed so. Jobs provide a means of livelihood. At the lower level, some provide the basics of food, shelter, and such essentials of life’s needs. Higher paying jobs provide for higher needs that often includes fame, fortune, and all the flashy stuff that make those who hold them the envy of society. But oh the stress and strain caused when blindsided by sudden job loss.
Survive: Get Over the Hump
What can we do if we fall prey to such occurrence? Here I share a few strategies:
- Allow yourself to mourn the loss. Cry if you must. It’s good therapy.
- After your period of mourning, face the truth that the situation is for real, and it’s time to move on.
- Take hold of your life. Reflect on where you are now. Then reflect on your next steps and what you can do about your situation.
- Hopefully, you had saved for rainy days like this. It is suggested that you have 3-6 months savings to help you ride the waves until you get another job.
- Start searching for a new opportunity.
- Assess your skills to meet the changes in the market. Are you skilled in another area that you did not even think of?
- How is your resume? Your social profile? Do they depict the message you want to send?
- Connect with your network who can refer you to new opportunities
- Treat your job search like a job. Know that it takes time.
If you can’t get pass the hurt and pain, read Stuck: The 5 Signs…
Don’t go it alone. If you need help, let’s connect.
It’s Definitely a Tough Blow to be Fired
Thorny! Stop! Come on in, we understand!
A colleague received a call that her mom had to undergo emergency surgery due to a toe injury. By the time she got to the hospital, the leg had to be removed. Naturally, this was a shock as her life was immediately turned upside down. She had no choice but to voluntarily resign from her position to be by her mom’s side. She had to be there to assist in any way she could. That was her voluntary decision.
You may not have had the choice. Things happen. You lose your job because of restructuring, organization change, Tentative changes, and more. All involuntarily. You’re sad. Filled with remorse, and totally depressed. But you don’t have to go it alone. This is where we come in to assist you with getting pass this hurdle and getting settled into the job of your choice in your time. Here are the details:
Fired to Hired is a 5-Week Series of Group Online training sessions for individuals who have been:
- Laid off
- Out of Work for a while including Mothers who are ready to return to the workforce
- Anyone frustrated with their current job situation
Class size is small with a Group of individuals experiencing the same circumstances.
You will learn strategies on:
- Rebuilding your Public Profile (Resume, LinkedIn Profiles etc)
- Developing Success Mindset
- Matching The Right Job for you
- Job Search Strategies
With the techniques taught, you will be able to land a Flavorful job that will make you want to jump out of bed each morning.
Sign up now and take advantage of early registration rates.
See you on the inside!
Peter Drucker was wise when he said there is nothing quite so useless as doing with great efficiency, something that should not be done at all.
Across from her I stood. Watching as she carefully arranged the papers for delivery. Unknown to her was the intrepid fact that her department would be cut the next day. No amount of hard work could Criticize or change that fact. Decades ago who would ever have thought that society would change. Newspapers were no longer being read by the mass and the company had to cut back. Sad as it was the staff had to be reduced to save what little of the company that could be salvaged to its new online medium.
Peter Drucker was wise when he said there is nothing quite so useless as doing with great efficiency, something that should not be done at all. Tempted? Let’s examine our lives today. What are we doing so well that should not be done at all? Is it taking a course that is no longer recognized and when you graduate you are left out in the cold? Is it staying within your comfort zone in a job that has no room for growth, or worse …almost redundant? Lest we get more personal …is it pursuing a relationship that no longer makes sense?
Be Wise. Look around you. Examine the trends and do only what makes sense for your future self.
There are many who act like toxins that poison our careers, dreams, goals, and aspirations
Why does she always have to be mean? Why can’t he understand? Why is it so hard for my boss to get it? Why does she have to always be so …. toxic!
Yes, toxic. Indeed, it is a strong word which means pertaining to, affected with, or caused by a toxin, or poison. That is the meaning attributed to the word. Sad when it is used to describe an individual’s behavior. But truth be told, there are many who act like toxins that poison our careers, dreams, goals, and aspirations. Year in year out, time and again they poison our ability to succeed. Yet why do so many choose to stick around such people? Toxic people are offensive, and people hate being around them.
So in order to succeed, we must get away from them. It is difficult when you work directly with such individuals, but when you choose them as your ‘Generous‘ friends, it’s a sure recipe for disaster.
Traits of Toxic People
Selected here are eight (8) of the characteristics described by Dr. Lillian Glass, Expert in Human Behavior. As alluded, if you see yourself in any of the traits, don’t Panic! Simply recognize the trait(s) and start the process to do something about it. But first, brace yourselves and let’s try to understand the various characteristics.
- The Cut-You-Downer is arrogant, mean, belittling, bitchy, hateful, self-righteous, condescending, threatened, superior, insecure, offensive, critical, sarcastic, disrespectful, underhanded, and fault-finding. They have little self-esteem and will find fault with you and with everyone else. They love to belittle, taunt, ridicule, others. They cut others down so they can build themselves up.
- The Self-Destroyer is victim-like, unrealistic, weak, unstable, sabotaging, rejecting, negative, threatened, selfish, lifeless, desperate, unappreciative, depressed, defiant, rebellious, and out of control. They hate themselves so much that they constantly tear themselves down and harp on what’s wrong with them, while berating themselves. They usually say things like “I’m so stupid”; “that was dumb of me”; or “I’m the worst.” In essence, self-destroyers try to cut themselves down before anyone else has a chance to do it. They hardly ever accept compliments and will negate any nice or kind words that come their way. They can be so full of self-loathing that they will become alcoholics, foodaholics, drug abusers, etc. Essentially self-destroyers don’t think they are worthy of good things or deserve anything positive in life.
- The Gossip is indiscreet, insecure, fault-finding, false, belittling, quick to place blame, brazen, hypocritical, competitive, hurtful, self-righteous, shallow, sharp-tongued, skeptical, sneaky, imposing, adversarial, conspiratorial, critical, disloyal, meddling, mean-spirited, offensive, and angry. The gossip loves to spread stories even embellish them, and may invent stories of his or her own. The gossip is usually a nosy person whose biggest pleasure is telling you about someone else’s misfortunes. He might find pleasure in telling stories about others. Gossips generally have very little going on in their own lives. So they want to be accepted and to feel important so they bring you the latest news (real or imagined).
- The Gloom and Doom Victim is masochistic, guilt-ridden, worrisome, sabotaging, resentful, rigid, selfish, rejecting, sad, negative, petty, fault-finding, paranoid, stubborn, whiny, weak, defeatist, unimaginative, self-destructive, fearful, solemn, cowardly, depressed, skeptical, unappreciative, suspicious, lifeless, lethargic, lackadaisical, defensive, and depressed. Gloom and Doom victims are depressing to be around. Their energy really zaps you as they tell you how horrible life is, has been, and will be for them. They aim to make you feel sorry for them, but they have no interest in any advice you offer. Their preference is to wallow in self-pity, certain that the world has done them in and everybody has done them wrong. Nothing ever goes right for them. Maybe it’s because their glass is always half empty rather than half full. They blame everyone but themselves when anything goes wrong in their lives.
- The opportunistic User is selfish, interfering, manipulative, back-stabbing, brown-nosing, secretive, indirect, disloyal, conspiratorial, dishonest, sneaky, unappreciative, underhanded, tenacious and seductive. Opportunistic users are out for themselves alone. They are fair weather friends who want you in their life only when it is convenient for them—when they can benefit. These people will do anything to get ahead. If they can benefit from someone or have benefited all they can, they discard the person like a used paper towel, without a second thought.
- The Me, Myself, and I Narcissist is selfish, egomaniacal, lacking in self-confidence, shallow, insecure, arrogant, boring, limited, socially inept, exhausting, obnoxious, flamboyant, self-centered, indiscreet, and a show-off. They have only one thing in mind—themselves. They are the most self-centered individuals anyone can encounter. They don’t want to talk about or do anything unless it pertains to them. They want to hear about your issues only if it affects them. Their vocabularies are filled with the words “me”, “myself”, and “I”. Trying to have a conversation with a narcissist can be the most frustrating experience you will ever have, because they speak a monologue instead of a give-and-take dialogue.
- The Competitor is provocative, fearless, fanatical, obnoxious, paranoid, offensive, pushy, aggressive, resentful, sabotaging, conniving, intense, intimated, defensive, confrontational, threatened, untrustworthy, negative, insecure, argumentative, and always looking for a fight. Competitors seek every opportunity to outwit or surpass others. Everything is a competition from getting a job to getting a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. Competitors tend to be show-offs and braggarts who gloat about their achievements—both past and present. They constantly try to impress you with how much better they are than you. In essence they have such low self-esteem that the only way they can relate to you is by turning everything into a contest.
- The Control Freak is invasive, sabotaging, rigid, manipulative, arrogant, aggressive, forceful, backstabbing, self-righteous, meddlesome, confrontational, inflexible, egotistical, obstinate, pushy, unreasonable, stubborn, selfish, unaware, threatened, disrespectful, uncommunicative, and stubborn. Control freaks can never let go. Like bullies, they are immobilized if not in control. However, unlike bullies, they don’t always use anger or meanness to get what they want. Control freaks often use sweet talk and manipulation. They are not team players and have difficulty delegating authority, as they try to do everything themselves. If things don’t go their way, they get angry or lose interest, for they feel they must always be in charge. Their lives are filled with frustration and disappointment and never go with the flow. Instead, they force things to happen and when things don’t go their rigid way they panic and become angry or more manipulative.
Did any of these traits remind you of someone you knew? If so what effect has it had on your success? Maybe it’s time for a change.
We show up everyday doing a job that we don’t like, and then feel like we are losing our mind when we are expected to be productive and profitable.
Get angry! Tell them off on national TV-like that famous weather reporter did! Give them a piece of your mind-like that flight attendant did, then de-planed! Or quietly sneak away never to return again, which unfortunately happens too often.
Though we may smile at these examples, they are real life situations that actually happened. As a HR consultant, I have worked with clients that have had these experiences and more. Because we spend most of our time at work, it would be great for us to really like what we do, and who we have to work with.
Vincent Van Gogh said that he put his heart and soul into his work and lost his mind in the process. How many of us really feel that way? We show up everyday doing a job that we don’t like, and then feel like we are losing our mind when we are expected to be productive and profitable. It’s hard. But we keep at it if we are to cover our basic needs to survive, thrive, or for those at the higher levels, fulfill our higher need to self-actualize.
STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH A BAD BOSS
If you have a bad boss…see qualities in 23 signs you have a Bad Boss, it is not likely that you are going to change them. So here are a few strategies to help you take the steps to work better with him or her.
- Have an early, upfront conversation about what is important to you in a leader and how you can best work together. In a civil manner, discuss things such as:
- Leadership style and the coaching you would need to develop.
- Expectations. What he/she expects from you, and what you expect.
- Perception. How each of you perceive “success” with regard to the job.
- What “meets expectations” or “exceeds expectations” look like on the performance-rating continuum.
- Your current performance
- Be proactive and check in with him or her often to provide reports, or updates.
- Acknowledge them publicly for their support, especially when they have been instrumental in helping you succeed.
- If problems occur that escalate, have a conversation with the HR manager to ensure that any complaints are logged. HR will take the necessary steps to help resolve the issue and can serve as a mediator in future meetings.
- If 360-degree feedback systems, and other anonymous options are in place in your organization, do use them to provide input regarding your concerns.
- Keep a record of dates, times, and specific examples of issues that have occurred so that you will be able to recall them when necessary.
Essentially, do your best to try to work with the situation you are charged with at the moment. Nothing lasts forever. Things do change sometimes. But by all means, if the horizon really looks bleak in that company, then start the process to move on, especially if it starts to negatively affect your health. Start the job change process to search for a new opportunity. Take the steps to:
- Update your Resume
- Refresh your LinkedIn Profile
- Connect with a Recruiter
- Consider other career options
It’s important to heed the caution before you make such Radical change….Making irrational decisions then saying “oh wait”, will be too late. So be cautioned that you never leave a job without first finding another one. It will be well worth it in the long run.
Moving! It’s one of the most stressful things to do! But moving for desired personal reasons including new job, new spouse (yikes!), education, and more makes the end result more gratifying! We get that Adrenalin rush because it’s something we desire. Packing those boxes, suitcases, and rummaging our belongings into trucks to go away , to Relocate…makes the journey worth the while (well at least through the honeymoon stage). I have done my fair share and have also helped many career transitioners relocate in my HR consulting role.