Try New Things…

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Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different? ~C.S. Lewis

I dare you! Without hesitation she jumped off the cliff  fully clad into the menacing waters below. “Way cool!!”  her friends screamed.

Just think about that situation. How often do we act like that in our lives (well not to jump off a cliff which is a bit extreme), but do we dare to try new things? To step out; to take that leap that we are so afraid of?

I dare you… is a challenge to do something at hand. 

Amidst the Noise that exists, reflect on C.S. Lewis quote about how things change. Our tasks come and go…day-in-day-out. Months pass; and before we know it…years. We look back and realize that everything is different. Yet for many of us, things still remain the same. Our dreams, goals, entrepreneurial, and career aspirations remain at a stand still. We tremble at the sight of the raging waters below, afraid to jump!

On the flip side there are those who step forward, take the leap, and discover triumphs they never knew existed! In order to be successful, you have to be motivated! And motivation comes from within! Enter self-efficacy which means  the belief an individual has in him/herself to do things they never dreamed they could do. Essentially, self-efficacy reflects confidence in the ability to exert control over one’s own motivation, behavior, and social environment.

People with Low Self-Efficacy

  • See challenges as threats
  • Withdraw from difficult tasks
  • Have lower aspirations
  • Weaker commitment to goals
  • Focus on limitations and failures
  • Give up quickly in the face of challenges

People with High Self-Efficacy

  • See challenges as goals to be mastered
  • Set challenging goals and maintain commitment
  • Sustain efforts in the face of failure in order to achieve
  • Learn and grow from failures and try again….never give up

Most if not all of us act in some capacity of leadership, be it in the workplace, or as a parent, teacher, or peer. In so doing we exert significant impact on those we have influence. Parents, impact a child’s self-efficacy when they provide an environment that stimulates the child’s curiosity and allows them to master their experiences.

A teacher’s confidence in his/her own abilities to teach can impact how successful his/her students will be.

Peers model each other’s experiences. She did it and therefore I can; or the converse, he did it and failed. Therefore if I try, I too will also fail.

You Can Totally Do This

Formally, there are 4 factors that influence Self-Efficacy:

  1. Performance Accomplishment considers mastering (your)self.
  2. Vicarious experience observes others experiences. If others succeed, then I can succeed. If others fail, I will fail too.
  1. Verbal persuasion as in “you can totally do this“; or you can’t do this, or that.
  2. Physiological which occurs through physical sensation such as how you feel. For example, we are scared of public speaking. We become anxious and portray the belief that we are going to fail. On the other hand, we feel anxious but the anxiety does not portray feelings of failure but that of excitement and achievement that we are going to do well.

Are You Where You Want To Be In Life?

Now take the time to think about your dreams, goals and aspirations. Are you where you want to be in life? Dig deep into your inner being and find that motivation… deep down because it exists. Bring it to the forefront of your mind. Start thinking positive thoughts like “I can do this!” Then Grasp the things you need to take the first step. If you need help, connect with a mentor, or a friend who has your back, or get a coach. But whatever you do, don’t let the next time you look back, you are standing still.

Make that daring move to start today. I dare you!

Need help? Lets connect.

Cheers!

When Life Knocks…

When Life knocks you down, get back up 

Alena planned an inaugural event for an organization in need. It was going to be grand. Sponsors actively participated. The media agreed to show up. Surprisingly the greatest struggle came from the organization’s leadership. It seemed it was going to be a failure. A little saddened and downcast she continued planning the event’s activities. Naturally, fear, anxiety, agitation and more reared its ugly head. But she plodded on.

Amazingly, like an Astral, the event turned out to be just grand! A tremendous success. She walked away with key learnings for the next year. Yup! There’ll be another.

So when life knocks you down; when sickness, pain, sudden job loss, marriage fails, children falter, relationships go south; cry if you must but just stay focused on your goal. You’ll get there with consistency, tons of hard work, and persistence. Find a mentor, a confidante, or Coach who will help you ride the waves. Never Give Up. Let go of the negatives and remember, nothing good comes easy. Stay the course. You’ll get there.

Cheers!

Connect with Me.

3 Directions. Which One Are You?

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Do What you Can with What you have, Where you are.  ~Theodore Roosevelt

~Melanie is at a crossroads in life. She graduated college, got a job and has been working ‘just because‘.

~David has worked as a senior manager for over 10 years but over the past three years he has been dreaming of more. His sense of purpose has been lost. He feels he is drifting.

~It’s been 4 years since Carol lost her job due to restructuring. Since then she has worked odd jobs, has big dreams but through fear hesitates to take the step to Enroll to accomplish her goals.

~Mark dreamed of his passion. Took the steps to achieve and now enjoys the benefits of his entrepreneurial ventures. Still he seeks more ways to learn, develop his skills, and grow.

We have all been there. Life’s crossroads beckons times of reflection pushing us to search deep within our souls to find out if there’s more to life. We ponder about the next step. Where should we go? What should we do? How should we do it? or should we do it at all? John Maxwell speaks about the 3 kinds of people when it comes to Viable directions in life. These are:

3 Kinds of People in Pursuit of Goals

1.People Who Don’t Know what they would like to do.

These people are confused. They dabble, drift, with no sense of direction. If they grow, it is without focus.

2. People who Know what they would like to do but Don’t do it

These people are Profusely frustrated. They worry, they fear. They want to step out but are afraid they won’t be able to take care of their responsibilities. Sometimes they are not willing to pay the price to learn, grow, and move closer to their dream. Sadly, these people also miss out on reaching their potential.

3. People who know what they would like to do and do it.

These people are fulfilled. They possess a strong sense of passion, they achieve their purpose, they grow, they learn, they develop. As they strive for more we Chuckle thinking they are perfect but they know better as they seek continuous development.

You may also like What Does Success Mean to you?

This was previously shared but it’s now time for a revisit. Look back on the list, which type resonates with you? Consider. Reflect. Share. Puzzled and need help? Let’s connect.

Cheers!

Ain’t No Stopping Us Now, We’re on the Move….


Goals. Have Faith. Have Courage. Be Strong. Never Give Up. What will seem like in the Blink of an eye, you will achieve. So keep going.

Forging Ahead…

A colleague recently connected with me to share a number of options Presented to her by her employer. She was to select one and get back to them. She asked my input. I asked her to think about her options as she transitions in her life. From there, she would be able to select the option most suited to her.

Goals Must Intercept

While you must take into account employer goals especially those directly assigned, you must be sure that those goals align with your own personal development. It’s the “what’s in it for me”. Let me hasten to say that it’s not selfish, but job goals that intercept, provide meaning. They provide the motivation to jump out of bed each morning to spend hours on the job. Such personal objectives could be:

  • Financial to save for the future, or to purchase something major
  • Achieving Dreams such as vacation goals, or invest in a unique hobby
  • Education for personal development to get ahead
  • Start a family
  • Become an entrepreneur
  • Making a difference in your community

The above takes into account the selection or acceptance of goals that will help forge those Forlorn desires ahead. If you are working to only pay bills, then it doesn’t make sense, and you’ll eventually feel stuck.

So invest some time now to think seriously about what you want; the direction for your life so you can indeed forge ahead this year.

Need help? Let’s connect.

Cheers!

Goals: Converse From The Heart…

This is the beginning of anything you want. So look ahead. Have a Conversation

Dream it. Work it. Do it.

Cheers!

A Look Back on 2017…

Whew, what a year! I’m a firm believer in looking back to get ahead. In business we look back to assess our performance for the year. Often it’s even mandated. Why not apply the same principles to your own personal life. So, here are a few of my major points in 2017.

Nova Southeastern University Recognition

Amazed but as always, all things work together for good. Met some great people as I did the research to help others learn the traits and strategies of how leaders achieved success, and how the ambitious can also become successful. Looking forward to helping youths, ethnic minorities and those in need in the new year.

Book Signings

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Book signings, interviews, and giving back to our community were a big part of my theme in 2017. Giving thanks for partnership with Writers of Color, that paved the way to various  community centers and libraries in South Florida. Other signings were held in New York, and Washington DC. Deeper exploration continues in the new year.

New Book – GreenLight

Stay tuned for my new book titled GreenLight, slated for early release in 2018. It will include inspirational writings, exhortations, prayers, and the confidence needed when individuals are confronted with changes and transitions along life’s journey.

Documentary Video on Success

Documentary video created on the campus of Nova Southeastern University. It depicted the discussion on immigrants sharing their views on Success. Learn more in published book on Success Strategies of Immigrant Leaders in the United States. Kudos to KC Films & Media for creating video.

Live Interviews with Entrepreneurs on Success

Conducted a series of Live interviews with millennials and Entrepreneurs around the globe. They shared their stories on the steps they used to achieve success for the benefit of those who are afraid to make the leap to do what they have always wanted to do.

30 Under 30 Millennials

Always a pleasure to lead the panel of judges at the 30 Under 30 Millennials who are making distinctive leadership ventures across the United States and the Caribbean. Event is held by the Institute of Caribbean Studies in Washington DC. The Inter-American Development Bank (IDB), Washington DC, hosted the event.

Inaugural Goal-Setting Retreat

Inaugural Retreat held at Captiva Island in South Florida. Participants engaged in creating goals for 2018, as well as strategies to help achieve them progressively in the months to come.

Time with My Girls

As always the year was filled with travels but my greatest personal memory was that shared with my girls when we visited New Orleans. Just leave it to my oldest who is Almost an Extravagant lover of traveling and gaining new experiences. Tons of smiles as we went live at Essencefest with Queen Latifah and the Cozy cast of  ‘Girl’s Trip‘, made the visit all the more fun. How about you? What was your favorite experience in 2017?

Finally, looking back on the past 12 months, the memories made and the goals tackled, I am truly thankful. I now look forward to the future and the expectations ahead. Can’t wait to see how it unfolds. Here’s to you and your family as we wish you health, peace, and hope that all will be well in 2018, and beyond.

Happy New Year to you!

Why Are We So Afraid?

Celebrity Adrienne Bailon of The Real, and The Cheetah Girls movie, questioned herself “what if people don’t like it?” What if her music is not accepted?

I shared recently the responses received from entrepreneurs to the question what’s stopping you? It was no surprise when the responses were summarized, they boiled down to Fear. People are afraid to step out. They are afraid of failure and of what other people may say.

Celebrity Adrienne Bailon of The Real, and The Cheetah Girls movie, when asked why she was not singing confessed that she was scared. She was afraid. She questioned herself “what if people don’t like it?” What if her music is not accepted? She went on for awhile talking about her fears.  We gasp because we cannot fathom someone at that level who has enjoyed success over time to still be afraid.

As we Knit together the various facets of our lives we often feel like an underdog in different areas. We may be successful at one area and feel afraid to step out in another.

If you are like Adrienne, I implore you to take that Percussive step. What if you fail? To that I say….at least you tried. Also I suggest that we stop taking life so seriously. Do some things just for the love of it! Just for fun! When we adopt that kind of thinking, we find that we often succeed and find ourselves able to soar, to achieve great things.

So today if you are afraid, take the step to try something new. Who knows, you may surprise yourself.

Ready to get your goals in order? Lets connect!

Cheers!

 

What’s Stopping You?

 What’s stopping you? 

That was the question asked. It’s fitting for those who are stuck. Those who have dreams, goals, and aspirations yet like a Nested   Sludge, do nothing to progress towards achieving them.

Why do we hesitate? Why don’t we step out and do what needs to be done? What holds us back?

Here I share some of the responses from individuals to the question posed.

  • Fear …period
  • Confidence
  • Not believing in myself
  • Laziness
  • Fear of Failure
  • Fear of the What if’s
  • Judgment of others
  • Not knowing where to start and not having the means
  • Lack of money
  • Fear of failure and having possible regrets
  • Selecting career
  • People
  • Being disappointed
  • Possible rejection
  • Procrastination
  • Platform
  • Capital
  • Double faced people
  • Lack of confidence and confused
  • Discipline
  • Pain and fear
  • Losing people who I love
  • Interacting with people
  • Daily conflicts with people but they are not stopping me just standing in my way
  • Myself
  • Self doubt
  • Lacking purpose
  • Over-thinking, over panning and procrastination
  • Afraid of others opinion
  • My past
  • Sadness
  • Uncommitted to my decisions
  • Fear of future
  • Fear of Success
  • Lack of Motivation
  • Fear of Change
  • Rejection
  • Afraid of standing out
  • Fear of being ridiculed
  • I need to believe in myself
  • Purpose

It seems fear, and pleasing others top the list of what’s stopping most people from doing what they want to do.

How about you? Does any of the above resonate with you? Do share.

Cheers!