Self: It’s About Time…

To thine ownself be true

Selfie is the great craze! Our society’s phenomenon making waves over the past few years! We take pictures of ourselves at home, in the car, at work, at play and everywhere you can imagine. We Congregate and reach out to capture celebrities at public events to take that selfie to highlight our latest feat! It says we are cool. Way cool!

The selfie stick makes it even easier. With ease we are able to capture photos of ourselves in a crowd, at great heights on mountain tops, and even in the depths of the seas! The Wall Street Journal tell stories of injuries and even fatalities caused by this craze. Narcissitic mentality they called it. Yup these days we are filled with the craze! It’s all about ourselves. But is it really?

Self-Reflection

What about our inner desires? When was the last time you sat and took stock of where you are in life? Are you where you want to be? What are you most proud of? What do you like the least? Today, I encourage you to find some time alone to take stock of yourself.

Dr. Lillian Glass suggests looking at it mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. As the saying goes—to thine own self be true. So be honest and assess yourself from your present situation to your ideal situation. Think of it as though there was nothing to stop you from achieving your dreams and making them a reality. Then list all the steps that you would need to take in order to make the dreams in your life situation come true.


For example, if you are single and wish to find a partner, at times you may feel lonely, empty, and sad.  Your ideal situation may be to find a man/woman of your dreams—someone who speaks kindly to you, and treats you with respect.

The steps to make this come true are:

  • Tell your friends that you are available
  • Join a dating service, or a singles’ organization
  • Give dinner parties and ask your friends to invite members of the opposite sex who are their friends
  • Go out more often
  • Get involved in classes or sports
  • Ask your minister or clergy for assistance
  • Be more open and friendly to people whom you meet
  • Be more assertive; smile, and say hello

Do Something Different!

Even though it is scary and you may feel a little Clumsy at first, do some things that you have never done before…yikes!  Take trips by yourself; go to the movies alone; or have a cup of coffee solo.  These things can build your self-confidence even if you are a bit nervous at first. You may also consider creating new adventures for yourself and doing things that are out of character. Get a new haircut, or a new color. Grow a beard. These will not only make your life much more exciting but also prevent you from feeling sorry for yourself.

In essence, it’s about time. Step out. Take risks—and when you do, don’t be afraid to feel silly, awkward, or of being rejected. Find comfort in the saying “nothing ventured, nothing gained’.

Cheers to the new you!

Reinvent Yourself: 10 Key Points for Success

There is no such thing as a lifetime career any more. The world of work is now much more fluid than it was before. The lines have certainly been blurred. Gone are the days of jobs for life where you did your time and left with a secure Glaring pension to enjoy retirement with no Argument. You now need to take responsibility for your job security and the management of your career. Make sure you discover and use your internal resources and take a self-directing approach.

Reinventing yourself is something that you must keep doing. Dr. Robert Davies offered good advice on 10 key points to success.

  1. Focus on your personal development. Spend some time thinking about the competencies. What are the knowledge, skills and abilities needed to survive in this era.
  2. Always have a driving vision. Consider these  3 components:

    • Have clear mental picture of the person that you want to be.
    • A clear development agenda to help you get there
    • A clear definition of the contribution you want to make to society.
  1. Schedule a reinvention exercise for yourself every 3 years. Change with the times and avoid becoming obsolete.
  2. Make a commitment to learn something notable each month. If you are not learning something is wrong with the way you are managing your job and yourself.
  3. Be concerned if you don’t make any mistakes. This is not for you to go out and deliberately make mistakes. But if you are not making mistakes, you are not doing anything different. Treat failure as a learning experience and a platform to start a new chapter.
  4. Never accept mainstream popular thinking without challenging it in your mind . Carve out time to challenge, research, and think differently.
  5. Be confident. Never let anyone take that from you. But be quietly incompetent.
  6. Keep an achievement diary. How has your work benefited others? Maintain an updated Resume.
  7. Invest in your network.
  8. Help others. Remember there will be a time when you yourself will also need help.

Need help? Let’s connect!

Cheers!

Sometimes…Pretense…


Fake it til you make it.

Act the part. 

Practice makes perfect

Just do it.

Success for sure.

Is pretending wrong? Is it wrong to  Pretend that all is well in the midst of a loss? In the midst of fear? In the midst of turmoil, and pain? Is it wrong to pretend that we too can succeed at all we put our minds to? To achieve a great feat that in our real minds we would be afraid to do? Is it wrong?

Maybe not. If pretense is what we have to do to come outside of ourselves to achieve our dreams, goals, and aspirations, I’d say go for it! Because…one day it will be for real!

Hold strong…be all you can be…and succeed!

 

Success Strategies at Miami Book Fair

Come join us at Miami International Book Fair! The event runs November 13-20, 2016. Visit us on November 18, 2016, and pick up your copy of  new release Success Strategies Workbook. Entrepreneurs, professionals, readers, come discover how you or a friend can take the next step to achieve your dreams, goals, and aspirations!

8 Traits of Toxic People…

There are many who act like toxins that poison our careers, dreams, goals, and aspirations

Why does she always have to be mean? Why can’t he understand? Why is it so hard for my boss to get it? Why does she have to always be so …. toxic!

Yes, Toxic. Indeed, it is a strong word which means pertaining to, affected with, or caused by a toxin, or poison. That is the meaning attributed to the word. Sad when it is used to describe an individual’s behavior. But truth be told, there are many who act like toxins that poison our careers, dreams, goals, and aspirations. Year in year out, time and again they poison our ability to succeed. Yet why do so many choose to stick around such people? Toxic people are offensive, and people hate being around them.

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So in order to succeed, we must get away from them. It is difficult when you work directly with such individuals, but when you choose them as your ‘Generous‘ friends, it’s a sure recipe for disaster.

Traits of Toxic People

Selected here are eight (8) of the characteristics described by Dr. Lillian Glass, Expert in Human Behavior. As alluded, if you see yourself in any of the traits, don’t Panic! Simply recognize the trait(s) and start the process to do something about it.  But first, brace yourselves and let’s try to understand the various characteristics.

  • The Cut-You-Downer is arrogant, mean, belittling, bitchy, hateful, self-righteous, condescending, threatened, superior, insecure, offensive, critical, sarcastic, disrespectful, underhanded, and fault-finding. They have little self-esteem and will find fault with you and with everyone else. They love to belittle, taunt, ridicule, others. They cut others down so they can build themselves up.

  • The Self-Destroyer is victim-like, unrealistic, weak, unstable, sabotaging, rejecting, negative, threatened, selfish, lifeless, desperate, unappreciative, depressed, defiant, rebellious, and out of control. They hate themselves so much that they constantly tear themselves down and harp on what’s wrong with them, while berating themselves. They usually say things like “I’m so stupid”; “that was dumb of me”; or “I’m the worst.” In essence, self-destroyers try to cut themselves down before anyone else has a chance to do it. They hardly ever accept compliments and will negate any nice or kind words that come their way. They can be so full of self-loathing that they will become alcoholics, foodaholics, drug abusers, etc. Essentially self-destroyers don’t think they are worthy of good things or deserve anything positive in life.
  • The Gossip is indiscreet, insecure, fault-finding, false, belittling, quick to place blame, brazen, hypocritical, competitive, hurtful, self-righteous, shallow, sharp-tongued, skeptical, sneaky, imposing, adversarial, conspiratorial, critical, disloyal, meddling, mean-spirited, offensive, and angry. The gossip loves to spread stories even embellish them, and may invent stories of his or her own. The gossip is usually a nosy person whose biggest pleasure is telling you about someone else’s misfortunes. He might find pleasure in telling stories about others. Gossips generally have very little going on in their own lives. So they want to be accepted and to feel important so they bring you the latest news (real or imagined).
  • The Gloom and Doom Victim is masochistic, guilt-ridden, worrisome, sabotaging, resentful, rigid, selfish, rejecting, sad, negative, petty, fault-finding, paranoid, stubborn, whiny, weak, defeatist, unimaginative, self-destructive, fearful, solemn, cowardly, depressed, skeptical, unappreciative, suspicious, lifeless, lethargic, lackadaisical, defensive, and depressed. Gloom and Doom victims are depressing to be around. Their energy really zaps you as they tell you how horrible life is, has been, and will be for them. They aim to make you feel sorry for them, but they have no interest in any advice you offer. Their preference is to wallow in self-pity, certain that the world has done them in and everybody has done them wrong. Nothing ever goes right for them. Maybe it’s because their glass is always half empty rather than half full. They blame everyone but themselves when anything goes wrong in their lives.
  • The opportunistic User is selfish, interfering, manipulative, back-stabbing, brown-nosing, secretive, indirect, disloyal, conspiratorial, dishonest, sneaky, unappreciative, underhanded, tenacious and seductive. Opportunistic users are out for themselves alone. They are fair weather friends who want you in their life only when it is convenient for them—when they can benefit. These people will do anything to get ahead. If they can benefit from someone or have benefited all they can, they discard the person like a used paper towel, without a second thought.
  • The Me, Myself, and I Narcissist is selfish, egomaniacal, lacking in self-confidence, shallow, insecure, arrogant, boring, limited, socially inept, exhausting, obnoxious, flamboyant, self-centered, indiscreet, and a show-off. They have only one thing in mind—themselves. They are the most self-centered individuals anyone can encounter. They don’t want to talk about or do anything unless it pertains to them. They want to hear about your issues only if it affects them. Their vocabularies are filled with the words “me”, “myself”, and “I”. Trying to have a conversation with a narcissist can be the most frustrating experience you will ever have, because they speak a monologue instead of a give-and-take dialogue.
  • The Competitor is provocative, fearless, fanatical, obnoxious, paranoid, offensive, pushy, aggressive, resentful, sabotaging, conniving, intense, intimated, defensive, confrontational, threatened, untrustworthy, negative, insecure, argumentative, and always looking for a fight. Competitors seek every opportunity to outwit or surpass others. Everything is a competition from getting a job to getting a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. Competitors tend to be show-offs and braggarts who gloat about their achievements—both past and present. They constantly try to impress you with how much better they are than you. In essence they have such low self-esteem that the only way they can relate to you is by turning everything into a contest.
  • The Control Freak is invasive, sabotaging, rigid, manipulative, arrogant, aggressive, forceful, backstabbing, self-righteous, meddlesome, confrontational, inflexible, egotistical, obstinate, pushy, unreasonable, stubborn, selfish, unaware, threatened, disrespectful, uncommunicative, and stubborn. Control freaks can never let go. Like bullies, they are immobilized if not in control. However, unlike bullies, they don’t always use anger or meanness to get what they want. Control freaks often use sweet talk and manipulation. They are not team players and have difficulty delegating authority, as they try to do everything themselves. If things don’t go their way, they get angry or lose interest, for they feel they must always be in charge. Their lives are filled with frustration and disappointment and never go with the flow. Instead, they force things to happen and when things don’t go their rigid way they panic and become angry or more manipulative.

Did any of these traits remind you of someone you knew? If so what effect has it had on your success? Maybe it’s time for a change.

The Hikes of Success

Traveling in the slow lane, I  get angry. I get upset. Forgetting that I’m traveling in the slow lane. My progress is slowed. My destination eludes me and seem to get further away. My anger grows. My frustration… like a fuse lights up, ready to explode!

But that’s how it is with life. Missed steps, missed deadlines, procrastination. Failed  business, exams, twisted careers, and more cause us to feel like we  are driving in the slow lane. Our goals, dreams, aspirations seems unreachable. We get angry, frustrated, feel punished. But that’s because we have gone off course. We fail to plan. We fail to focus. We fail to keep our eyes on the goal. Milestones recede…ebbs away in the distance. One by one. We procrastinate saying I’ll get it done tomorrow…, but tomorrow never comes.

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But all is not lost. Achieving our goal is like a Hike. If carefully planned our long walk to success can be achieved one step at a time. One foot before the other..again and again, and again. And if we plan it, we are able to enjoy the beauty of the experience along the way.

Today, take a step in the right direction. If you slipped… get up, dust yourself off, and get back on track. Your goal will be a step closer for sure.