reflections – Page 2 – Success Strategies

The Habit To Create A Habit. 21 Ways…

Good habits formed at youth make all the difference. ~Aristotle

The will to create a habit. Is it worth it? Away from home at college, I often reflect on the activities of my youngest. I was in a reflective mood and sent her a few things about creating the right habits to realize our goals. Here I share. Make it a habit to:

1. Eat right and on time.
2. Study well as you always do
3. Keep good company … avoid the bad who can negatively impact
4. Pray often
5. Spend Wisely
6. Save more
7. Keep your eye on your goals
8. Pray for God’s help when you feel weak, sad, down
9. Hydrate. Drink water.
10. Breathe. Engage in regular breathing exercises
11. Avoid anything that distracts and steals your joy (drugs, drinks, anger)
12. Exercise patience
13. Remain Humble
14. Play ignorance…let others be caught off-guard when they realize you’re wise
15. Listen to the Lord’s direction
16. Laugh often
17. Meditate. Do your devotion everyday (morn, noon or night… whenever it’s convenient for you)
18. Enjoy life quietly and responsibly
19. Love your family
20. Love yourself
21. Stay Alive to enjoy the fruit of your studies

Read this over and over until it sticks

Just sharing with y’all! Hope it helps!

Cheers!

The Breath Of Writing…

If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.” ~Anais Nin

I’ll Never Forget The Sight….

I’ll never forget the sight. Standing in line more than a decade ago with hundreds of graduates awaiting the march into the ceremony, I saw my mom and dad walking in together a little late. She, with a basket of fruits too heavy for her to bear, but far too precious not to. Him, adorned in a bright red jacket as if to say “nobody is going to make me miss this special occasion when my daughter receives her Masters degree”! I thought to myself…should I acknowledge them or should I shy away from this somewhat humorous sight? I dismissed the very thought and rushed to their side hugging them both. My action was met with admiration, claps, and with sounds of “aww”, as the waiting graduates stirred. Needless to say that this achievement was for both my parents as neither had college degrees. After the ceremony, my mom hugged and congratulated me with the question “when are you going to get the Doctorate?” The nerve! How could she? But her question stayed with me for years, even after the receipt of yet another Masters degree.

Years later, I finally acceded to fulfilling her dream. She couldn’t do it so I decided to do it for her. A year into the program while enroute to a mandated summer conference in Orlando, I received a call that she (with whom I spoke an hour earlier), had suffered a massive stroke!

That was the start of a yearlong journey to be by her side through thick and thin. Ironically both our journeys were paths of learning. Hers being to learn to talk, to walk, to eat, to do life’s simple things, and to learn the basics of living all over again. Me, to face the reality of the situation that my mother was in, and to learn the skills to adequately provide her care. Along with my two sisters (one who was ailing with the ravages of cancer at the time), we brought her to live closer so we could adequately care for her return to ‘normalcy’.

As I reflect on my journey, on one occasion I remember receiving an important call from a professor while attending to her needs. I answered the call, got the coaching from the professor then returned to finish her care. This became a routine.

I remember being by her side at the hospital for hours, days, weeks. She was my morning motivation. I couldn’t start the day without her knowing that I cared. It was the same at nights. I couldn’t end the day without visiting her; without her knowing that I was there for her. At work, the leaders knew that if they wanted my best then I needed an hour to be with my mom which was the fuel for the rest of the day. I happily worked that back during lunch or after hours. This went on for a year but sadly she never recovered. We later discovered that her body was wreaked with cancer unknown to our family. It was too much for her to bear.

After she passed this was my driving force. I had to finish my studies for her. I had to accomplish her dream, something she couldn’t do herself. I had to finish to show my two girls that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. I had to finish and leave something tangible behind. This culminated in a research to track the paths of immigrant leaders and their journey to success to achieve the American Dream. I accomplished that feat two years after she passed away. The research is now published and available here. I now spend my time coaching individuals and entrepreneurs to never give up; to keep going, because with that passion they will accomplish their dreams.

Cancer. My Sister’s Journey…

She’ll have my head if she knows I’m writing this but some stories must be told.

That was how I started this story five years ago but don’t think it was ever published. It was the spring of 2003, after experiencing discomfort and a series of medical tests, the news was relayed to my sister. Not only did they find a lump in her breast but it was also malignant. Visits to Specialists left her with two options; remove the breast, or embark on a series of chemo treatment. The option of removal was an uncommon feat at the time, so after engaging family, friends and mountains of prayers, she made the decision to save the breast and embrace the chemo treatment.

Past The Worst

Over 10 years later and different rounds of chemo treatment combined with the usual side effects of hair loss, nervous system changes such as numbness, weak feelings and more…yet she still kept on fighting. Fighting to survive for her children. Fighting to see them “pass the worse”.

Why I Now Share

I write this not to seek sympathy but to share the innate character of my sister – Carleen, a stalwart! A fighter! A survivor extraordinaire! A teacher by profession, she spent her years in New York, Florida and the Caribbean educational systems molding the youthful minds of countless children. Many were overwhelmed by the genuine care and concern she had shown for her students-many of whom she brought from non-or-minimal performance to the realms of exceeding expectations.

October Is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is Breast Cancer awareness month and for that I choose to celebrate and remember my sister, Elaine AKA Carleen. Yes she passed. 12 years hard battle. She won some. She lost some. But in the end I walk away remembering the fighter that she was. I choose to celebrate the character and personal attributes of someone who has made a difference in the lives of many.

My sister, I love you! I salute you!

Cheers!

For The First Time…

Mid-life she decided to move to Paris. A dream she always had. With kids grown and little or no responsibilities she decided to take the plunge! She bought a house exclaiming “it’s my first time”.

Adventure

I thought about that. I have had many first times. An explorer and lover of adventure, I have sky-dived for the first time. I have moved to different states and countries for the first time. Not to mention my first time at writing and publishing my research on Success Strategies. A book that has helped many others for their first time.

I remember the first time I experienced childbirth…exhilarating yet humbling experience. 14 years later I did it again for the first time and the experience was no different. Wonders of the world! A little me was born again for the first time.

Travel

I now look forward to my own personal travel to a Cafe in the French Quarters…a dream to feast, ponder while I write, and ride the gondola in neighboring Venice. Now that’s a first time that I can hardly wait for as I did in my Weekend In Paris…

Goals

Is there something you’d like to do but because it’s the first time you’re afraid? Why not take the risk? Try it. Step out in faith. Who knows you may experience Success for the first time ….all over again.

Try it!

Cheers!

Write That Resignation Letter…

Begin with the end in mind. Write that resignation letter. Then begin to plan your escape route.

What are you escaping from? A boring job? Restrictions that immensely tug at your creativity? Doing something that has been calling your name?

Writing your resignation letter is similar to stepping out. Stepping away from something. It’s final. As head of Human Resources, it was hard receiving this letter from a member of the organization. Some should go (e.g. problematic worker) and we smirk when they do. But in the main 95 percent of the team we mourn as in a loss. It means they’re onto the next chapter of their life and no matter what, they go. We too needed to move on.

Move On

That’s what companies do. They move on. That’s what YOU should do. If you are unhappy, longing for more…do yourself a favor and move on.

Write that letter. It will boost you to take the steps to move into your next phase. But remember don’t hand it in until your plans are finalized… Until you have been offered and accepted that new job; or that new opportunity. Because once you do, there’s no turning back (especially if you fall into that category of problematic employee …smile).

Need help? Lets connect

Cheers!

Career: My 3 Mistakes…

Reflecting

I have made many mistakes along my career. Mistakes that disappointed. Mistakes that caused hurt and pain. Here I share 3 with the hopes that they can help someone along the way. Someone who is just starting out. Or perhaps someone who needs a reality check (smile).

1. Don’t Tell All

Never tell all. When I got my very first job out of high school in an accounting firm, a week went by then the owner decided to have a talk. I was asked my goal to which I replied innocently, naively, stupidly (you decide which word best suits), that I wanted to be a nurse. By Monday I was no longer working there. What’s a nurse doing in an accounting firm? Using them to get to the next level?

Learning: Be wise. Don’t tell all.

2. Dress Appropriately

I wore a beautiful career top to an interview with a major insurance provider. The interview went well. Later after a few weeks went by, I was confused why no response. Digging deeper through a friend that works with the company, I was told that my blouse was too revealing–as in transparent. Beautiful career top with frills it was. But it was not appropriate without a jacket or blazer.

Learning: Be Professional. Dress For Success

3. Punctuality is Key

I am ALWAYS early. But for this interview, I wanted to look my absolute best! It was with a major airline. I went to get my hair re-styled. As ‘fate’ would have it, I arrived 5 minutes late. Never-the-less my interview went very well. However a couple of weeks later, I was confused about the lack of response and enquired the reason. The response…. I was late. Airlines need people who are always on time. Reliable. Punctual. I was all of these but my 5-minute tardiness cost me the job.

Learning: Arrive On Time. Punctuality is Key

Reflect: Connect The Dots

Often we go through disappointments. But when we look back and connect the dots, we learn in the process. Sometimes the disappointment is a path to the ideal career, or whatever goal we seek. I finally landed a job working with people (not nursing like I’d dreamed), but into managing the Human Resource portfolio for various countries for a major international pharmaceutical company. But I had to go through the disappointments to get to where I was supposed to be.

Today I implore you to hold on. Never give up. As I shared my mistakes along the way, I hope they serve to encourage someone who is waiting. Someone who needs it. I now spend my time coaching individuals making career decisions that I never knew I needed.

Share these learnings with someone who can benefit today. Prefer to go it alone? Get copy of book Success Strategies: Want To Succeed, Here’s How.

Cheers!

Mistakes: Don’t Cling. Move On…

Don’t cling to a mistake because you spent a long time making it. Look back, connect the dots. Learn from it and move on.

Cheers!

I’m Never Gonna Stop The Rain By…

black and white clear cool dew — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Raindrops keep falling on my head
But that doesn’t mean my eyes will soon be turnin’ red
Crying’s not for me
‘Cause I’m never gonna stop the rain by complainin’
Because I’m free
Nothing’s worrying me

The lyrics of this song reminds us to Drop worry and fear. Fear of failing. Fear of the past. Fear of the future. Some even fear success.

Today, let’s aim high. Let’s take control and Free Fall. Chances are we will remain in control, just like the Ant who never seem to fear things that appear bigger than it is. Often the fear is just in our mind. Today, let go. Drop the worry. Drop the Fear. As Bob Marley said

“every little thing is gonna be alright”.

Cheers!

On A Budget? 9 Gifts That Cost Nothing But Is Invaluable….

For it is in Giving that we receive

My personal joy is to give! I treasure any opportunity to give! The act of giving has always brought me even more satisfaction than the recipients of my gifts. These days being on a strict budget has brought with it the stance to be even more creative than I was in the past when giving high-priced gifts. I ran a search for gift ideas to still meet my giving needs to others. I pounced upon LiZ Evans Huffington Post’s article 20 Gifts That Cost Nothing To Make But Might Be Priceless. From the list my top 9 Favs are:

Birthdays, Christmas, Graduation…Gifts That Cost Nothing

1.When Skies are Gray. Give this to anyone in your life who may be going through a tough time. Give them a stack of cards or books with inspirational quotes that will help them ride the wave during difficulty times. They can read when the going gets tough.

2. A Tell-Me Notebook. Give a blank spiral notebook to a parent, grandparent or other and ask them to write in the notebook any stories they would like to share. LiZ suggests that they do not need to worry about good writing. It’s just to write their stories when they feel like it. I’d add it’s also a way to leave their legacy. Can’t tell how many times I wish I had captured stories from my mother and grandmother.

3. 50 Things I learned by… Capture 10, 30, 50, or any number you would like of the things you learnt from someone celebrating a birthday milestone or other such occasion. I am certain this will be a wow moment as they reflect on the difference they had made in shaping your life.

4. Magic Car Wash. Spouse birthday? Steal away the car and take it for a detail while they are at work. Then return it after without their knowledge. Tons of smiles will shine for sure.

5. Freedom From Responsibility. Take the kids and give them the night off. Nicely decorate this gift in a card, box and deliver with a specific agreed date included. Did this for my daughter and her husband. They were elated!

6. Read This When... This gift is for a college kid who is away. Write a series of short letters and label them, read when you’re home-sick, fail an exam, think you’re in love etc. Of course there are paid services to help you to do this but why go that route when with a little effort, you can do it.

7. Park Tour Permit. Select 3-5 parks and throughout the year, plan park tours. Give this gift to your young kids and at the end of the month, summer, or year, together decide which park was the best and rate what they liked most. For sure this journey with the kids will be exciting!

8. I Love you Now and Later Letters. LiZ encourages you to write 2 letters to your intended recipients sharing why you love them. Then ask them to read one now and then later at an agreed time to open the other. It could be a year or two, depending on your intention. For me it could be a letter to my daughter when she starts college and then again when she’s graduating.

9. Remember This Book. Capture anecdotes, inside jokes, and stories of your loved one’s journey and read together at intervals. Certainly will keep the love alive.

So there you have it. A little creativity and effort makes such a difference when giving gifts. Personally, one occasion comes to mind. A coworker during a pixie gift exchange asked for a handsome, rich, loving man for her pixie gift. Luckily I had her name (yikes)! I set to work. Got on the computer and searched for all those criteria. Found the ideal guy for her (per the search engine..smile), printed it and wrapped it in a huge gift box with a Big Bow! You can just imagine the laughter it brought to the entire team! Memories shared year after year!

So go ahead! Give the gift of creativity, smiles and function. They are the absolute best!

Are there any experiences you remember? Do share. We would love to hear!

Cheers!

What’s It Gonna Be?

daylight fall forest jetty

Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around. ~R.T. Bennett

What do you feel is important to deal with your professional and personal life? Some often focus on too many values. Others seem not to give it a second thought. But when someone crosses that line, some hurt and even become bitter, and suddenly values are exposed.

What Are Your 4 Core Values?

Damon Johns asked the question “what would you say are your four (4) core values?” Responses were similar yet varied:

Honesty
Empathy
Concern for the world
Family
God
Integrity
Character
Passion Results
Loyalty
Honor
Work ethic
Love
Confidence
Consistency
Quality Assurance
Reliability

21 Core Values from Leadership

Here is a list of values shared from leadership studies. Select your top 4 values to focus on. As James Clear reminded, if everything is a core value then nothing gets priority.