Career: My 3 Mistakes…

Reflecting

I have made many mistakes along my career. Mistakes that disappointed. Mistakes that caused hurt and pain. Here I share 3 with the hopes that they can help someone along the way. Someone who is just starting out. Or perhaps someone who needs a reality check (smile).

1. Don’t Tell All

Never tell all. When I got my very first job out of high school in an accounting firm, a week went by then the owner decided to have a talk. I was asked my goal to which I replied innocently, naively, stupidly (you decide which word best suits), that I wanted to be a nurse. By Monday I was no longer working there. What’s a nurse doing in an accounting firm? Using them to get to the next level?

Learning: Be wise. Don’t tell all.

2. Dress Appropriately

I wore a beautiful career top to an interview with a major insurance provider. The interview went well. Later after a few weeks went by, I was confused why no response. Digging deeper through a friend that works with the company, I was told that my blouse was too revealing–as in transparent. Beautiful career top with frills it was. But it was not appropriate without a jacket or blazer.

Learning: Be Professional. Dress For Success

3. Punctuality is Key

I am ALWAYS early. But for this interview, I wanted to look my absolute best! It was with a major airline. I went to get my hair re-styled. As ‘fate’ would have it, I arrived 5 minutes late. Never-the-less my interview went very well. However a couple of weeks later, I was confused about the lack of response and enquired the reason. The response…. I was late. Airlines need people who are always on time. Reliable. Punctual. I was all of these but my 5-minute tardiness cost me the job.

Learning: Arrive On Time. Punctuality is Key

Reflect: Connect The Dots

Often we go through disappointments. But when we look back and connect the dots, we learn in the process. Sometimes the disappointment is a path to the ideal career, or whatever goal we seek. I finally landed a job working with people (not nursing like I’d dreamed), but into managing the Human Resource portfolio for various countries for a major international pharmaceutical company. But I had to go through the disappointments to get to where I was supposed to be.

Today I implore you to hold on. Never give up. As I shared my mistakes along the way, I hope they serve to encourage someone who is waiting. Someone who needs it. I now spend my time coaching individuals making career decisions that I never knew I needed.

Share these learnings with someone who can benefit today. Prefer to go it alone? Get copy of book Success Strategies: Want To Succeed, Here’s How.

Cheers!

Natural Mystic Flowing…

Find what drives you. Go after it

 Mythical

“Acting is a cool way to bring in multiple worlds the way others have….Barbra Streisand, Oprah Winfrey and Quincy Jones: That’s my mix….I am dying to do some scoring. When the right thing comes along, I’ll do that for film and theater. I don’t like to do what everybody else does [clothing, perfume, etc.]. It has to be something I can do with a twist, something special. If it’s something average, I don’t want to do it.” – Alicia Keys

Success is the attainment of wealth, honors, and the like. It’s not mythical. But it’s important to define it for ourselves. That’s a privilege that you should retain only for you. Consider Alicia Keys ….she wants to do something with a twist, something special. That’s what drives her to succeed.

So find what drives you and go after it. We can all achieve success provided we put in the hard work. It’s that simple….and that’s why its often hard. If you have the passion, the vigour, the zeal, and the strength to persist, you will achieve. Need help?  Success Strategies Workbook  can  be your compass. Get your copy and begin your journey right now.

Cheers!

8 Traits of Toxic People…

There are many who act like toxins that poison our careers, dreams, goals, and aspirations

Why does she always have to be mean? Why can’t he understand? Why is it so hard for my boss to get it? Why does she have to always be so …. toxic!

Yes, Toxic. Indeed, it is a strong word which means pertaining to, affected with, or caused by a toxin, or poison. That is the meaning attributed to the word. Sad when it is used to describe an individual’s behavior. But truth be told, there are many who act like toxins that poison our careers, dreams, goals, and aspirations. Year in year out, time and again they poison our ability to succeed. Yet why do so many choose to stick around such people? Toxic people are offensive, and people hate being around them.

toxic-people

So in order to succeed, we must get away from them. It is difficult when you work directly with such individuals, but when you choose them as your ‘Generous‘ friends, it’s a sure recipe for disaster.

Traits of Toxic People

Selected here are eight (8) of the characteristics described by Dr. Lillian Glass, Expert in Human Behavior. As alluded, if you see yourself in any of the traits, don’t Panic! Simply recognize the trait(s) and start the process to do something about it.  But first, brace yourselves and let’s try to understand the various characteristics.

  • The Cut-You-Downer is arrogant, mean, belittling, bitchy, hateful, self-righteous, condescending, threatened, superior, insecure, offensive, critical, sarcastic, disrespectful, underhanded, and fault-finding. They have little self-esteem and will find fault with you and with everyone else. They love to belittle, taunt, ridicule, others. They cut others down so they can build themselves up.

  • The Self-Destroyer is victim-like, unrealistic, weak, unstable, sabotaging, rejecting, negative, threatened, selfish, lifeless, desperate, unappreciative, depressed, defiant, rebellious, and out of control. They hate themselves so much that they constantly tear themselves down and harp on what’s wrong with them, while berating themselves. They usually say things like “I’m so stupid”; “that was dumb of me”; or “I’m the worst.” In essence, self-destroyers try to cut themselves down before anyone else has a chance to do it. They hardly ever accept compliments and will negate any nice or kind words that come their way. They can be so full of self-loathing that they will become alcoholics, foodaholics, drug abusers, etc. Essentially self-destroyers don’t think they are worthy of good things or deserve anything positive in life.
  • The Gossip is indiscreet, insecure, fault-finding, false, belittling, quick to place blame, brazen, hypocritical, competitive, hurtful, self-righteous, shallow, sharp-tongued, skeptical, sneaky, imposing, adversarial, conspiratorial, critical, disloyal, meddling, mean-spirited, offensive, and angry. The gossip loves to spread stories even embellish them, and may invent stories of his or her own. The gossip is usually a nosy person whose biggest pleasure is telling you about someone else’s misfortunes. He might find pleasure in telling stories about others. Gossips generally have very little going on in their own lives. So they want to be accepted and to feel important so they bring you the latest news (real or imagined).
  • The Gloom and Doom Victim is masochistic, guilt-ridden, worrisome, sabotaging, resentful, rigid, selfish, rejecting, sad, negative, petty, fault-finding, paranoid, stubborn, whiny, weak, defeatist, unimaginative, self-destructive, fearful, solemn, cowardly, depressed, skeptical, unappreciative, suspicious, lifeless, lethargic, lackadaisical, defensive, and depressed. Gloom and Doom victims are depressing to be around. Their energy really zaps you as they tell you how horrible life is, has been, and will be for them. They aim to make you feel sorry for them, but they have no interest in any advice you offer. Their preference is to wallow in self-pity, certain that the world has done them in and everybody has done them wrong. Nothing ever goes right for them. Maybe it’s because their glass is always half empty rather than half full. They blame everyone but themselves when anything goes wrong in their lives.
  • The opportunistic User is selfish, interfering, manipulative, back-stabbing, brown-nosing, secretive, indirect, disloyal, conspiratorial, dishonest, sneaky, unappreciative, underhanded, tenacious and seductive. Opportunistic users are out for themselves alone. They are fair weather friends who want you in their life only when it is convenient for them—when they can benefit. These people will do anything to get ahead. If they can benefit from someone or have benefited all they can, they discard the person like a used paper towel, without a second thought.
  • The Me, Myself, and I Narcissist is selfish, egomaniacal, lacking in self-confidence, shallow, insecure, arrogant, boring, limited, socially inept, exhausting, obnoxious, flamboyant, self-centered, indiscreet, and a show-off. They have only one thing in mind—themselves. They are the most self-centered individuals anyone can encounter. They don’t want to talk about or do anything unless it pertains to them. They want to hear about your issues only if it affects them. Their vocabularies are filled with the words “me”, “myself”, and “I”. Trying to have a conversation with a narcissist can be the most frustrating experience you will ever have, because they speak a monologue instead of a give-and-take dialogue.
  • The Competitor is provocative, fearless, fanatical, obnoxious, paranoid, offensive, pushy, aggressive, resentful, sabotaging, conniving, intense, intimated, defensive, confrontational, threatened, untrustworthy, negative, insecure, argumentative, and always looking for a fight. Competitors seek every opportunity to outwit or surpass others. Everything is a competition from getting a job to getting a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. Competitors tend to be show-offs and braggarts who gloat about their achievements—both past and present. They constantly try to impress you with how much better they are than you. In essence they have such low self-esteem that the only way they can relate to you is by turning everything into a contest.
  • The Control Freak is invasive, sabotaging, rigid, manipulative, arrogant, aggressive, forceful, backstabbing, self-righteous, meddlesome, confrontational, inflexible, egotistical, obstinate, pushy, unreasonable, stubborn, selfish, unaware, threatened, disrespectful, uncommunicative, and stubborn. Control freaks can never let go. Like bullies, they are immobilized if not in control. However, unlike bullies, they don’t always use anger or meanness to get what they want. Control freaks often use sweet talk and manipulation. They are not team players and have difficulty delegating authority, as they try to do everything themselves. If things don’t go their way, they get angry or lose interest, for they feel they must always be in charge. Their lives are filled with frustration and disappointment and never go with the flow. Instead, they force things to happen and when things don’t go their rigid way they panic and become angry or more manipulative.

Did any of these traits remind you of someone you knew? If so what effect has it had on your success? Maybe it’s time for a change.