The Personality Trait That’s Holding You Back…

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. ~Lao Tzu

You need to speak up. Gone are the days when you can sit back and wait to be seen. To be promoted. Refraining to speak up makes you Invisible. It makes you feel stuck. It makes you a door mat; stressed the muse.

One of Jim Collins leadership trait discussed in his book Good to Great, tells more about the exemplary trait of humility. But these days when our society is all about the self, it is still very important to remain humble. But while being humble,  it is also essential to self-promote.  Amidst the ‘self-noise’, those who tarry to share achievements and accomplishments, tend to get left behind. Gone are the days when we do things and wait to be recognized.  As sad as it is to say it… those days are fast disappearing. Individuals tend to act, then apologize after.

Today in our Selfie-society, we must self-promote. We must stand up; we must stand out; or we will be stood up.

Speak up.

Cheers!

Try New Things…

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Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different? ~C.S. Lewis

I dare you! Without hesitation she jumped off the cliff  fully clad into the menacing waters below. “Way cool!!”  her friends screamed.

Just think about that situation. How often do we act like that in our lives (well not to jump off a cliff which is a bit extreme), but do we dare to try new things? To step out; to take that leap that we are so afraid of?

I dare you… is a challenge to do something at hand. 

Amidst the Noise that exists, reflect on C.S. Lewis quote about how things change. Our tasks come and go…day-in-day-out. Months pass; and before we know it…years. We look back and realize that everything is different. Yet for many of us, things still remain the same. Our dreams, goals, entrepreneurial, and career aspirations remain at a stand still. We tremble at the sight of the raging waters below, afraid to jump!

On the flip side there are those who step forward, take the leap, and discover triumphs they never knew existed! In order to be successful, you have to be motivated! And motivation comes from within! Enter self-efficacy which means  the belief an individual has in him/herself to do things they never dreamed they could do. Essentially, self-efficacy reflects confidence in the ability to exert control over one’s own motivation, behavior, and social environment.

People with Low Self-Efficacy

  • See challenges as threats
  • Withdraw from difficult tasks
  • Have lower aspirations
  • Weaker commitment to goals
  • Focus on limitations and failures
  • Give up quickly in the face of challenges

People with High Self-Efficacy

  • See challenges as goals to be mastered
  • Set challenging goals and maintain commitment
  • Sustain efforts in the face of failure in order to achieve
  • Learn and grow from failures and try again….never give up

Most if not all of us act in some capacity of leadership, be it in the workplace, or as a parent, teacher, or peer. In so doing we exert significant impact on those we have influence. Parents, impact a child’s self-efficacy when they provide an environment that stimulates the child’s curiosity and allows them to master their experiences.

A teacher’s confidence in his/her own abilities to teach can impact how successful his/her students will be.

Peers model each other’s experiences. She did it and therefore I can; or the converse, he did it and failed. Therefore if I try, I too will also fail.

You Can Totally Do This

Formally, there are 4 factors that influence Self-Efficacy:

  1. Performance Accomplishment considers mastering (your)self.
  2. Vicarious experience observes others experiences. If others succeed, then I can succeed. If others fail, I will fail too.
  1. Verbal persuasion as in “you can totally do this“; or you can’t do this, or that.
  2. Physiological which occurs through physical sensation such as how you feel. For example, we are scared of public speaking. We become anxious and portray the belief that we are going to fail. On the other hand, we feel anxious but the anxiety does not portray feelings of failure but that of excitement and achievement that we are going to do well.

Are You Where You Want To Be In Life?

Now take the time to think about your dreams, goals and aspirations. Are you where you want to be in life? Dig deep into your inner being and find that motivation… deep down because it exists. Bring it to the forefront of your mind. Start thinking positive thoughts like “I can do this!” Then Grasp the things you need to take the first step. If you need help, connect with a mentor, or a friend who has your back, or get a coach. But whatever you do, don’t let the next time you look back, you are standing still.

Make that daring move to start today. I dare you!

Need help? Lets connect.

Cheers!

What Area of Your Life Do you Want to Improve?

“What Area of Your Life Do you Want to Improve?” – Brian Tracy

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It’s not a trick question. Your Life, what area do you wish to improve? New entrepreneurs and career seekers jumped in droves to respond.  Surprisingly, common responses pertained to interpersonal skills, communication, finances, self-confidence, and people skills. Here I share some of their other responses.

Top 3 Skills Every Entrepreneur Needs…

  • Trusting myself
  • Quality of Speaking
  • Financial Situation
  • Dare to Change
  • Self-confidence
  • Career
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Making friends
  • Knowledge and Diligence
  • Multilingual
  • Knowledge and money
  • Strength
  • Earnings
  • Work Change
  • communication in order to better network
  • Building business
  • Personal Development
  • Education
  • Freedom
  • Speaking without Self-doubt
  • Procrastination
  • Health and fitness
  • Spiritual
  • Wisdom
  • Technical skills pertaining to technology
  • People skills
  • Setting boundaries
  • Self Discipline

Interested in your own personal development? Any skills not shown? Don’t be Tardy, do share.

Cheers!

The Relentless Pursuit of Success Unravelled…

What do you love about yourself? “Nothing. I don’t know, I can’t think of …anything”. These answers were repeated several times from a question asked of individuals


“Nothing. I don’t know, I can’t think of …anything”. These answers were repeated several times from a question asked of individuals “what do you love about yourself. Responses included:

  • Nothing
  • I don’t love anything about myself.
  • Everything
  • Wallet
  • Self Awareness
  • Change
  • My will power
  • I don’t know
  • Faith
  • My strong determined, lively, ambitious spirit
  • How I am such an amazing girl
  • At the end of the day I am grateful life is so amazing–so much good all around
  • Quiet
  • Resilience
  • Everything
  • Honesty
  • Whole me except anger
  • My deep soul that surprises me all the …how much it can hold

For those who look on the dull side of life and consider the negatives regarding the affection you have for yourself, it would be wise sit and Unravel the details of this perception. Take the time to develop yourself personally, and become more aware of who you are.

Self Awareness

Self Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions. Self Awareness allows you to understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment. To improve yourself individuals should consider:

  • Developing your talents and potential
  • Building your ability to be gainfully employed in whatever career you choose
  • Enhancing your quality of life
  • Considering your future and take the steps to achieve your dreams, goals, and aspirations.

Does any of the negative responses listed depict you? Can you identify with any? If so, take the steps today to boost your self-awareness and build your self-confidence, self-discovery, and vision. Only then will you be on your way to relentlessly pursue true success.

Cheers!

Self: It’s About Time…

To thine ownself be true

Selfie is the great craze! Our society’s phenomenon making waves over the past few years! We take pictures of ourselves at home, in the car, at work, at play and everywhere you can imagine. We Congregate and reach out to capture celebrities at public events to take that selfie to highlight our latest feat! It says we are cool. Way cool!

The selfie stick makes it even easier. With ease we are able to capture photos of ourselves in a crowd, at great heights on mountain tops, and even in the depths of the seas! The Wall Street Journal tell stories of injuries and even fatalities caused by this craze. Narcissitic mentality they called it. Yup these days we are filled with the craze! It’s all about ourselves. But is it really?

Self-Reflection

What about our inner desires? When was the last time you sat and took stock of where you are in life? Are you where you want to be? What are you most proud of? What do you like the least? Today, I encourage you to find some time alone to take stock of yourself.

Dr. Lillian Glass suggests looking at it mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. As the saying goes—to thine own self be true. So be honest and assess yourself from your present situation to your ideal situation. Think of it as though there was nothing to stop you from achieving your dreams and making them a reality. Then list all the steps that you would need to take in order to make the dreams in your life situation come true.


For example, if you are single and wish to find a partner, at times you may feel lonely, empty, and sad.  Your ideal situation may be to find a man/woman of your dreams—someone who speaks kindly to you, and treats you with respect.

The steps to make this come true are:

  • Tell your friends that you are available
  • Join a dating service, or a singles’ organization
  • Give dinner parties and ask your friends to invite members of the opposite sex who are their friends
  • Go out more often
  • Get involved in classes or sports
  • Ask your minister or clergy for assistance
  • Be more open and friendly to people whom you meet
  • Be more assertive; smile, and say hello

Do Something Different!

Even though it is scary and you may feel a little Clumsy at first, do some things that you have never done before…yikes!  Take trips by yourself; go to the movies alone; or have a cup of coffee solo.  These things can build your self-confidence even if you are a bit nervous at first. You may also consider creating new adventures for yourself and doing things that are out of character. Get a new haircut, or a new color. Grow a beard. These will not only make your life much more exciting but also prevent you from feeling sorry for yourself.

In essence, it’s about time. Step out. Take risks—and when you do, don’t be afraid to feel silly, awkward, or of being rejected. Find comfort in the saying “nothing ventured, nothing gained’.

Cheers to the new you!

Reinvent Yourself: 10 Key Points for Success

There is no such thing as a lifetime career any more. The world of work is now much more fluid than it was before. The lines have certainly been blurred. Gone are the days of jobs for life where you did your time and left with a secure Glaring pension to enjoy retirement with no Argument. You now need to take responsibility for your job security and the management of your career. Make sure you discover and use your internal resources and take a self-directing approach.

Reinventing yourself is something that you must keep doing. Dr. Robert Davies offered good advice on 10 key points to success.

  1. Focus on your personal development. Spend some time thinking about the competencies. What are the knowledge, skills and abilities needed to survive in this era.
  2. Always have a driving vision. Consider these  3 components:

    • Have clear mental picture of the person that you want to be.
    • A clear development agenda to help you get there
    • A clear definition of the contribution you want to make to society.
  1. Schedule a reinvention exercise for yourself every 3 years. Change with the times and avoid becoming obsolete.
  2. Make a commitment to learn something notable each month. If you are not learning something is wrong with the way you are managing your job and yourself.
  3. Be concerned if you don’t make any mistakes. This is not for you to go out and deliberately make mistakes. But if you are not making mistakes, you are not doing anything different. Treat failure as a learning experience and a platform to start a new chapter.
  4. Never accept mainstream popular thinking without challenging it in your mind . Carve out time to challenge, research, and think differently.
  5. Be confident. Never let anyone take that from you. But be quietly incompetent.
  6. Keep an achievement diary. How has your work benefited others? Maintain an updated Resume.
  7. Invest in your network.
  8. Help others. Remember there will be a time when you yourself will also need help.

Need help? Let’s connect!

Cheers!

To Wither. To Flourish. Your Choice.

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I was chatting with a colleague recently about a celebrity who showed the withering signs of drug abuse. A successful actor he was, then began his downward steps to deprivation. One taste, one touch, one excuse rationalizing …doing it only once. His curiosity sparked, then began his trek.

To Wither means to lose force or vitality; to become diminished; wane. On the other hand, to Flourish means to grow well; to be healthy, to be successful, to hold up and show something in an excited or proud way. Which do you choose?

In life we can’t always play it safe. But we must be wise. We must know which goals to pursue; which friends to keep, which decisions to make. Once done, we must take responsibility for our action.

To be successful, one has to take risks. So be wise. Then step out into the unknown. Who knows, anything can happen. Dream. Believe. Achieve. Flourish.

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