15 Authors Tell How To Spot A Hater…

A person who has an intense dislike for another person or thing

dictionary.com

A hater is someone who speaks trash…said a 5th grader. This term was not as rampant a decade ago. These days, the media shares stories which spread like wild fire at the click of a button. All you have to do is simply tune into any channel. Suffice it to say, writers on a social media forum was asked to Explain what a hater is or tell their experience. Here are 15 extracted.

  1. Someone who despises anything contrary to what they think is right.
  2. A jealous, envious, bitter person angry at another’s success
  3. A person projecting his/her shortcomings to the other person. Unwilling to accept his/her role in the incident in case it is directed at a person or racist/nationalist when directed towards a skin color or a country
  4. Those who can’t do it, teach or complain
  5. The process by which a miserable and/or failed person attempts to achieve equality with a happy and/or accomplished person not by improving themselves but by ruining whatever achieves beauty or virtue. In short an egalitarian of the latrine
  6. Literary folk who discover you write genre
  7. Those who latch out with with vitriol to mask their fear
  8. One who is experiencing the absence of love – the result of serious disconnection
  9. They are those who are so broken inside that they only find joy in causing pain to others they envy
  10. Someone who repeatedly expresses their dislike of someone or something which dislike is firm and unshakable despite any evidence tending to show its inappropriateness or error
  11. Severe dislike or disgust, abhorrent
  12. Someone whose self-esteem is so low, they can see the good in those who are different from them
  13. A person who due to bitterness, envy or jealousy, looks at others with disdain, being incapable of showing them support, compassion of kindness
  14. A person who is obsessively negative about a particular target
  15. Someone without kindness, tolerance or forgiveness

When Haters Hate Fill Them With Love

It’s crazy that we look at such terms these days. In a recent Instagram post, I shared a quote to which a fellow writer expressed surprise that she shudders to think that there are those who wish to see her stagnate. Sadly, as the above definitions show, there are indeed many who dislike the progress that others make. To them it would be wise to not dwell on it but fill them with love.

Ever had a dissatisfying experience with a so-called hater? How did you handle it? Do share. We would love to hear!

Cheers!

Travel! You Only Live Once…But Be Careful How

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You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough

~Unknown

Travel. See the world. Party. Think about you and making you happy. That’s what they say. But think about that. Do those things bring meaning? Let’s examine this philosophy closely.

Travel. Oh to see new places and bask in the ambiance. A change of pace incites creativity and value for the things that exist. But in your haste to travel, make sure you spend time basking in the culture of another’s land. Understand the host culture. There are always do’s and don’ts. Foreign Language may be a problem. If you’re not prepared, you won’t be able to communicate. For example, once during my business travel, I ordered bacon through room service and got something totally different. Another time during an international conference a colleague wanted to order hot dog during lunch. She indicated to the server “caliente woof, woof”. Bet you didn’t know that means hot dog (well at least by her definition). As hilarious as that was, she received her correct order.

Be Happy

Be Happy. Think Only About You. Well-intentioned but life is more than you. We must collaborate in order to co-habitate. Everything we do affect those close to us–be it family, friend or foe. So think before you act.

Remember, life is about living. But live in such a way that those who interact in your space are positively affected. Definitely something to think about, and remember… only what you do for Christ will last.

Cheers!

The Sea. The Beach. The Waves. Quiet Reflections…

The sea. The beach. The waves. It’s my safe place. I never want to leave. I sit coiled at the edge of the lazy beach chair, gazing in melancholy at the morning’s sunrise. All is still as time stops. As the sun began its heated quest, I sat pensively not wanting to leave.


Still fast asleep there’s no one in sight. Just me, as the waves batter the shore. My heart tugs as I long to rid life’s woeful work-related stress. I just want to stay to listen to nature’s quest. In quietness is where the heaven’s awake and gives me the strength to reach forward to start a new day, a new chapter, a time of serenity. I pray that I’ll listen as the spirit quietly leads, guides and directs my path.

In stillness is where I find my strength. Strengthen me lord, strengthen me. Speak and make me listen.

Blessing overflow.

What Could Go Wrong…

If you’re just thinking of the bad stuff, you’ll never see the good stuff.

Little Xavier was playing rough with his older brother. After many screams and shouts about being hurt to his brother, his mom rushed in. Then he sheepishly said that he was just playing. His mom scolded him stressing about the things that could go wrong…broken limbs, dislocated bones, bruises and more.

The What Could Go Wrong Mentality

Boys will be boys they say. But there is a place for caution. A place for the “what could go wrong” thinking. Personally, I coach about getting out of your comfort zones. Most of us just want to stay there. But in order to progress we have to move ahead, to take chances, to try new things. To get rid of the what could go wrong mentality and focus on doing something different…even if you’re afraid.

Here’s hoping you will try something new today. Hey, once you have done it, do share. We would love to hear.

Cheers!

Self-Care: 9 Ways To Sharpen The Mental Blade…

Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.”

Stephen Covey

The concept to sharpen the saw highlights the point that when you have been going, going, and going …and you can’t seem to see any results. Acknowledge that it’s time to stop. It’s time to refresh. It’s time for a break to get the rest you need to start thinking so you can be productive again.

Here are a few suggestions that Brett and Kate McKay shared in their article on how you can fuel your brain’s recovery and sharpen the mental blade:

  1. Read the Great Books
  2. Write a position paper on a topic of your choosing
  3. Listen to a stimulating podcast
  4. Listen to a Great Courses course
  5. Take an online course
  6. Attend a lecture at a local college
  7. Join a discussion group (synergizing mental and social domains!)
  8. Visit a museum
  9. Watch a documentary

Did any of the above inspire you? Are there one or few that’s missing that works for you? Do share, we would love to hear.

Cheers!

10 Challenges Graduates Face And How To Overcome The Fear…

All you need to know is that it’s possible

~Wolf

I was asked to speak with students who were about to graduate and take the steps as they embark on their career. In my curiosity to find out how to deal with their needs, I followed up with the enquiry to ascertain the major challenges they face as I spoke on the topic of Burst The Fear. I took the opportunity to share my own personal journey in the hopes that the graduating class would gain some inspiration of my own fears and how I countered them. Sky Dive anyone?

Here I share the top 10 challenges as gleaned and brief insights on how students and graduates can address them.

1.Lack of Money For Tuition

Lack of money is a common concern for students and graduates who wish to pursue further studies. There are many opportunities to combat this hurdle in order to move ahead . 5 include:

  1. Applying for Scholarships
  2. Seek Grants
  3. Use Savings
  4. Apply for Federal loans
  5. Seek Private loans only as a last resort

2.Unavailable Jobs in Their Field

First of all, it is best to research the job market to ensure that you are investing the time and effort into a field that still exists. We are in an everchanging environment and some jobs have become obsolete. In other cases job titles have evolved over time. That said, ensure you look before you leap.

3.Income Levels not Enough to Meet Needs

One great thing that has happened in our changing environment is diversification. That said, job seekers can have a ‘day job’ while simultaneously working on their own to supplement their income. Hobbies anyone?

Separately, it is also very important that students live within their means. For example, if studying full-time, it makes no sense for students to sign up for off-campus housing if they are unable to afford the rent and associated bills. If studying part-time while living at home with parents, this makes things more affordable especially when studying remotely. Can’t afford something? Save towards it until you can have it or do without it until you can afford it. Again, it is very important to live within your means.

4.Uncertainty About What To Study

If you are not sure of what to study, do your research. Speak with your college Career Services. Do assessments. Make it important to check the market to understand what careers exist. Careers are everchanging and besides that you may not like the job if you tried it. So it is best to test the market. This can be done through signing up for:

  • Part-time jobs
  • Summer vacation jobs
  • Volunteering is an excellent way to get experience since employers do not have to worry about paying you. It’s unfortunate but it’s a real situation within the current economic climate

5.Inadequate Role Models To Emulate

It is always good to get a mentor in the area that you are interested in working. There are mentorship organizations that exist that will assist students in providing direction. In addition, your college Career Services has the necessary resources to assist your progress.

You may also find it useful to search for groups online that have discussions based on your area of interest. These exist for any employment or interest area that you can think of. All you need to do is search. Once you find the group you like, become engaged in garnering advice on the forum.

6.Eradicate The False Ideas Of Success

What is success? There are many false ideas of success that exist. Be careful what you follow. Overnight success is hard to reach and may not be lasting or it might be something conjured up by those who choose to defraud. Be very careful who you follow. Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers shared stories of what seems like overnight success in high achievers which turned out to be more than 10K hours of practice over time.

Additionally, Success is not an accident. We must create it on purpose. My research on Success detailed in book Success Strategies share steps to success for those in need of guidance. Similarly, the book titled Ditch It shares the steps for those interested in switching their miserable job that they are engaged in or ditching it for entrepreneurship if they so desire. The book provides information based on research conducted with successful leaders as they shared the commonalities that drove them to achieve success as they defined it.

So be informed. Read. Gather information and Ditch the idea of leaping into ‘quick’ success.

7.Poor Attitude Towards Money

Spend wisely. As discussed in lack of money to invest in studies, be certain to live within your means. There will be times when you have to forego a desire/want in order to achieve your long-term goals. I cannot help but emphasize the quote, “if planning is important, execution is everything“.

8.Lack Of Self-Confidence. What Do Others Think?

Success must be created on purpose. It is in the very act of taking the necessary steps to build your success. Essentially, you take the steps to build your self-confidence. This means a sense of self-esteem and self-assurance when you believe that you can make a difference in the career path you take. To build your self-esteem you should:

  • Reflect. Look at what you have achieved
  • Set Goals
  • Create a plan to take the steps to achieving your goals
  • Consider your strengths. Write down what you are good at
  • Motivate yourself. Do this everyday especially when the going gets rough. That’s how you stay focused
  • Don’t give up
  • Forget what others think. Focus on you, where you want to go and how to get there.

9.Unaware Of How To Adapt to the Changing Environment

Change is constant. That is one thing we can be sure of. Nothing remains the same forever. Bust the Fear. In order to succeed we must create that resilience to adapt, learn and grow. One of my favorite sayings is to do it afraid. Things change and with that we become fearful. Here are 5 things you can do:

  1. Be flexible and adapt
  2. Try new things which will help boost your confidence and creativity
  3. Embrace Technology
  4. Seek guidance and support from others
  5. Build your skills and keep learning

10.Lack of Self-Awareness

Seek to understand yourself. What are your talents? What are you good at? Step forward, take the leap, and discover triumphs in your abilities that you never knew existed.

Motivate yourself. Motivation comes from within. The more you believe in yourself and your abilities the more you are able to accomplish. Learn how to exert control over your own motivation, behavior and your social environment.

Avoid negative people and situations. If your friends are not going in the same direction you are, find new friends. Those with whom you can strive to accomplish your best.

Trapped In Your Own Perception Of Where You Belong…

Some prisons don’t require bars to keep people locked inside. All it takes is their perception that they belong there.

~Lysa TerKeurst

Bust The Fear. Move Forward…

Delighted to speak with Northern CAribbean University 2021 graduates on April 20th. How can graduating students Ditch the Fear that is holding them back so they can move forward?

Looking forward to diving into some insights.

Cheers!

42 Ways To Improve Yourself…

That Fear. Ditch It…

To Live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the “what is next” of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing.

– Mark Twain

Binge-Watching For Personal Growth. 9 Must-See…

People are hungry for something Different

Miles Millar

Binge Watching is the practice of watching multiple episodes of a television program in rapid succession, typically by means of DVDs or digital streaming.

Dictionary.com

Patty’s text excitedly read “hey, I’m here binge watching your YouTube videos”. Hmmm an untapped medium, I thought about it and decided to share a few of the top videos. Below are 9 listed and shown below for your convenience. Go grab a snack and tune in. Build your personal growth as a writer, leader, new entrepreneur and more.

Happy watching!

  1. A Conversation With Reggae Music Matriarch Pat Chin On Overcoming Barriers As A Woman In Business
  2. 15 Leadership Traits
  3. Get Unstuck. A Literary Conversation with Lawyer Turned Author Meg Nocero
  4. Authors Of Color Books, Literary Hooks And Nooks
  5. LIVE Interview with Journalist Grace. How She took The Step From Career To Entrepreneur
  6. Simply The Best Or Naw: Signs A Business Needs to Change
  7. A Conversation With Entrepreneurial Investor David Mullings On How To Ditch Your Fear
  8. Success Defined by Millennials
  9. Success Defined

Enjoyed watching? Which one was your favorite? Do share. We would love to hear!

Cheers!

Photo by Alexander Suhorucov on Pexels.com

Interested In Starting Your Writing Journey? 18 Tips For Beginners…

Write. Just Write

Dr. Shelly's avatarSuccess Strategies

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Read a lot. Write a lot.

And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

Tips gleaned from experienced authors to those interested in venturing out on their own writing journey.

  1. Write. Keep writing.
  2. Read a lot so you understand how others do what they do
  3. Learn the craft …that is part of writing
  4. Proofread. Rewrite so it makes sense
  5. Learn the craft. Books, classes, YouTube
  6. Be yourself. Tell the story
  7. Brainstorm writing ideas
  8. It takes a lot of sacrifice
  9. Find online sites that accept free submissions. Publish 800-1200 word articles on a subject that interests you. Write and submit articles to many sites. Once accepted try longer pieces
  10. Don’t let “no thanks” deter you.
  11. Read, read, master the language you want to write in. Read…

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